Professionals Liars

People who constantly lie are unpleasant to be around. They lie out of habit and usually believe their own lies. Let’s face it, everyone lies from time to time. Sometimes it’s even necessary. But there is a big problem when one regularly lies…..A friend of mine told me about a guy she dated a long time ago. She said they worked as flight attendants for one of the airlines. They were friendly at first. He told her he had no family and his parents passed away from a serious illness when he was a child. He claimed he was raised by his grandparents who died when he was 18.

His life story touched her heart. She would invite him to spend time with her family on holidays and sometimes on weekends. They slowly became a couple. After approximately 6 months as a couple, my friend thought it would be more economical if they lived together, as they spent most of their time together at her place. She suggested that he move in with her, but he declined. He said he wasn’t ready to take that step yet and she decided to give him more time. One day he told her he got a job offer from another airline with a much higher salary. He also said that he would be working more shifts, therefore they would be seeing each other less. But he promised to make up for it when they were together.

He kept his promise in the first month. Over time she saw him less and less and he could barely be reached. When she asked him for the reason, he came up with all kinds of excuses. Finally, their relationship disintegrated. My friend was deeply hurt as she didn’t understand why he behaved this way, after all she did for him. A few weeks later my friend received a phone call from a lady she never met before. The lady introduced herself and said that she recently discovered that my friend’s ex dated both of them at the same time. She also found out he was a serial liar.

Apparently, he wasn’t an orphan as he said. In fact, his parents who owned a real estate company were his new employers, and not another airline as he said. In addition, he has 3 siblings and his grandparents were still alive at that time. Anyway, this was a long and enlightening conversation. By the end of it, my friend learned that there were more women who were hurt by her ex and not just the two of them. The reason for his behaviour wasn’t clear but he was constantly lying. As for her, she was relieved he wasn’t part of her life anymore.

Professional liars do not care if they hurt others as long as it serves their purposes. Sometimes their lies are due to insecurity. They try to impress and influence others. I worked with someone who used to lie about almost everything including silly things. Later on, I discovered she wasn’t the only liar in her family. What really bothered me was what she did when she wanted a day off. Her mother who was a big drama queen would often call in the morning to let us know she would not be coming to work that day because she was sick. The mother would be crying hysterically as if somebody just died.

As it was a regular ritual, the lady that answered the phone did not want to deal with her. She would hand the phone to me. Several times when she was absent due to so-called illness, people I worked with told me they saw her hanging out in the mall with her friends. She didn’t care that someone else had to work overtime due to her absence, and she did it too many times.

Another thing that upset me about her behaviour was when she was asked to do something which was part of her job, she never argued. She always gave you the answer you wanted to hear. Later on, I used to ask her if she did what she was asked to do and she would say yes. However, afterwards we would accidentally find out she didn’t do it. Since she frequently lied, she didn’t remember what she said and to whom. Somehow she got away with her lies without paying a price.

I admit I am partly to blame as I didn’t want her to lose her job although there were many complaints about her. I couldn’t bear the thought of someone losing their livelihood because of me. In addition, I liked her as she had a good sense of humour, so I covered up for her. I can deal with all kinds of people, well…….at least most of them, but I can’t deal with compulsive liars. They have this in their DNA. I have no tools to cope with them. In fact, they frighten me and I try to keep my distance from them.