Cheryl was very picky with men. Over the years she dated a fair number of men, but none of them were good enough for her. She was very intelligent, with a lot of self confidence, and expressed herself very well. Cheryl worked for many years at one of the largest newspapers in Toronto. She wasn’t an easy person and could not stand it when people made grammatical errors. She would even disqualify men over their grammatical mistakes in English. This is how obsessive she was about the language. She liked to surround herself with knowlegable people. Still, she was funny with a great self deprecating sense of humour. Therefore, she was popular and people liked to be around her.
Anyway, as time went on and Cheryl couldn’t find the one for her, she accepted the fact that she wasn’t getting married anytime soon. Yet, she didn’t give up on her dream to become a mother. Cheryl was close to 38 when she finally understood that she had to hurry up and find a potential father if she wanted her dream to come true. The possibility of having a child from a sperm bank donation was out of the question, as she wanted someone who would share the responsibilities of raising a child with her. And besides, she desired her future child would have a father figure in its life.
She met Peter a few days before she celebrated her 38th birthday. Peter wasn’t the kind of guy she normally dated as he wasn’t handsome and looked like a geek. He was 45, single, and an accountant without any children all of which she considered as positive. In addition, he was smart and had a good sense of humour. He made her laugh and this is what drew Cheryl to him. Therefore, she decided to give him a chance and didn’t hesitate when he asked for her phone number.
They started dating a few days later and moved in together after approximately two months. Cheryl did not know what Peter thought about having children because they didn’t talk about it. Peter has one sister with whom he didn’t really get along. She was married and had a couple of children. Every time they met at their parent’s house, he would complain her children make a lot of noise.
Although having children was at the top of her list of priorities, Cheryl tried not to push him about it. He would promptly change the subject whenever she tried to gently bring up the topic. On the other hand, they would not use any method of birth control. However, since Peter did not make an issue of this, Cheryl assumed he took into consideration that she might get pregnant.
Anyhow, after dating a year and she did not get pregnant, Cheryl began to think that maybe it would not happen. She thought she missed the train. Then she decided to consult a fertility specialist and made an appointment. For the first time, Cheryl also considered the possibility of using sperm from an anonymous donor. And then it happened. Cheryl found out she was pregnant a few days before her appointment with the fertility doctor.
Peter freaked out when she told him the news. He asked her to go for an abortion which she refused to do. She told him she was close to 40 and there was no way she was having an abortion. Peter made it clear that in that case, he doesn’t want anything to do with the child. Obviously, they broke up.
Peter, who had moved in with Cheryl at the beginning of their relationship, left her apartment and returned to his house. She tried to reason with him to change his mind and be part of his child’s life after he was born, but he wouldn’t listen to her. After their son Eli was born, Cheryl tried to support him on her own. Her parents could not help her financially but her mother, who wasn’t so young anymore, would babysit the boy from time to time.
Her mother did her best, but it wasn’t enough. Cheryl went back to work part time so she could spend more time with her son. In addition, she worked from home to earn some extra money, but that was difficult because Eli needed a lot of attention. Thus, when Eli was one year old, she went to court to get child support payments from Peter. Cheryl realized that raising a child was expensive, and she could not afford to raise her son without his father’s financial support. Besides, Peter did very well for himself and she knew he could afford to help.
The court ruled that Peter should pay $3000 a month. Furthermore, Peter was also told that if he didn’t take the child for a few days a week, he would be ordered to pay more. Peter was furious with the court order as he did not want to be part of the child’s life. He stated he did not even want to be a father in the first place. The judge looked at him in disgust and dismissed his claims. He added that the child’s best interests come above all…….
With Experience Comes Wisdom 