I have been suffering from migraines for years and still remember the first time I experienced one. It is unforgettable. I was at work when suddenly I saw flashes of light and was partly blinded. I froze, I didn’t understand what was happening to me, it felt like I was in a nightmare and thought I was losing my sight.

I was embarrassed as there were people around me. Somehow I managed to get to the bathroom and stayed there until my sight cleared. The symptoms lasted a few minutes, but it seemed like an eternity. After that I felt severe pain on one side of my head which lasted for several hours.

Anyway, since then I occasionally suffered from severe headaches. I learned later on these were migraines. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night with an unbearable headache as if I was hit on the head with a big hammer. Obviously I couldn’t fall asleep again. I have to say that I don’t know why, but I didn’t go to see a doctor. I guess because the pain didn’t come so often.

Also, I was sure it would go away. But it didn’t. Instead, it became worse over time. Today I frequently suffer from migraines and sometimes even on a daily basis. The migraine is accompanied by nausea, bad mood and nervousness, plus sensitivity to light, smells and sounds. In addition, I experience side effects after a migraine attack. I feel exhausted and am completely without energy. In short, I’m not fun to be around.

I went to see a pain specialist who gave me some pills which I was supposed to take as soon as I felt the symptoms, but before the migraine attack. The pills should moderate the pain, but unfortunately most of the time I have no warning symptoms. The pain just comes out of nowhere and it feels like my head is going to explode.

Anyhow, I have been taking the medication the pain specialist prescribed, as it gives me some relief. Furthermore, I went to see a Neurologist and a Naturopath as well. So far the solution to my problem has not yet been found. However, one has to know the cause first before finding a solution for migraines, and this isn’t easy at all. There are several triggers for migraines, (1) it can be something you eat, even though you have been eating it all your life (2) changes in the weather (3) hormonal changes in women (4) stress (5) fatigue and poor sleep (6) poor nutrition (7) some medications (8) strong smells, etc.

I realized over time that one of the main triggers for my migraines is the weather. Particularly extreme weather and in between seasons, which I can’t do anything about. Other triggers are some dairy products that I can avoid eating, and probably hormonal changes as well. So far no one told me the problem could be due to hormonal changes which surprised me. Well, I try to be creative and find some answer where the doctors have failed. Since I exercise regularly, I noticed that when I am running or walking on the treadmill I feel much better. It gives me a few hours free of pain. So I decided to run and walk more often to improve my quality of life. But I can’t be on the treadmill all day…can I?!

Recent studies show that Botox injections can help prevent migraines. I wanted to do it, but it is very expensive and you need to have injections every three months. In addition, the doctor told me Botox can change the shape of my face. Then I remembered I have a friend who did it and it changed her facial appearance. The poor woman always looked surprised……..because her eyebrows touched the top of her forehead……….. 🙂 That’s why I didn’t do it.

A couple of years ago I decided to incorporate some natural products in addition to the pills the doctor gave me. Since then every few months I try something new, as I am striving to find the right formula to prevent or at least reduce the pain. I have to be persistent and I know I should give it some time when it comes to natural products. But I have nothing to lose…….. or maybe I do…. some money. One thing I know for sure, I’ll keep trying because after all, being in good health is my top priority.

 

Sadly, there are people who aren’t aware they have a strong body odor or bad breath. In situations like this you expect someone who is close to you such as your spouse, partner, your parents or a close friend, to tell you that you have a bad smell. Over the years, I worked with a few wonderful people who you couldn’t stand too close to because of their bad odor.

People used to talk about them behind their backs, but no one had the courage to directly tell them they had a problem. These people had many face to face meetings with clients. One of them was married to a woman who dressed well, always had her nails manicured, wore makeup, and never had a hair out of place. We used to wonder how this lady could let her husband leave the house with such bad body odor. He also used to wear the same clothes for several days in a row, like it was his uniform…… How did that happen?

I feel very strongly that a couple should be like a mirror to each other. I would never let my husband go out wearing the same shirt that he wore the day before, or God forbid, with a bad body odor. Not that he would ever do that. But if he tried to, I would block the doorway and not let him out of the house…….. 🙂 I feel very proud when people tell me my husband dresses well, and wears clothes that flatter him.

Many years ago I worked with a lady who also had a very strong body odor. She had a great personality and was a dedicated employee. When she came to work in the morning, she always smelled like she just stepped out of the shower. She also changed her clothes every day. But as the day progressed, she had a strong smell of sweat. It was impossible to be around her. The employees used to complain to the management about her all the time. Eventually, the management felt they had no choice but to let her go. After she left the firm, I heard from someone who grew up with her that she was told she had a very strong body odor and needed to use a deodorant. Her answer was that she always used one, but it obviously didn’t work… 😦

In my opinion, there is a link between someone’s personal hygiene and the cleanliness of their home. However, I have a friend whose name is Carole. When I told her that I am going to write a post about personal hygiene, Carole told me she had a very good friend who she grew up with, and her name is Lisa. They were like sisters. When they were teenagers they would sleep over at each other’s houses.

Carole said that Lisa’s parents house was always clean and tidy and she loved being there. In addition to being a great cook, Lisa’s mother used to do all the cleaning in the house, although she had two daughters who could help her. Anyway after Lisa moved from her parent’s house to live with her fiance, Carole was invited to stay with them for a few days.

Carole said that she was in shock the second she entered her friend’s apartment. Clothes were thrown all over the floor. The apartment was filthy and you couldn’t even find a place to sit. The dishes were dirty because they didn’t wash them properly. Since Lisa lived far away from where she lived, Carole was stuck there. Carole couldn’t believe how much Lisa had changed.

Lisa neglected herself and her apartment looked like a zoo. Her fiance was also a slob. When Carole visited Lisa she could barely use her bathroom as it looked like it hadn’t been cleaned for weeks. Carole was so disappointed with her friend and her visits to Lisa slowly decreased over time, until they stopped completely. Carole didn’t want to say anything to Lisa as she was afraid it would hurt her feelings. In addition, she didn’t think anything would change even if she said something to her. After all, Lisa isn’t the only one who needs to make changes, her husband does as well. In the end Carole gave up on the relationship but never stopped missing Lisa.

A few years ago when Carole went to visit her parents she came across Lisa. The old friends were very happy to see each other. Carole approached Lisa to give her a hug, then she smelled a strong odor of sweat and backed off at once. Carole felt embarrassed, she told me she couldn’t look her friend in the eye. Fortunately for Carole, her boss called at that moment, so she excused herself and left. Carole said she was ashamed that she left, but the smell was so overwhelming she thought she would throw up if she didn’t leave.

We are all human and we all perspire, therefore we should shower regularly, use a good deodorant, wear clean clothes and never forget about oral hygiene too.

Faith has a friend that lives in Toronto, whose name is Emily. Faith and Emily went to university together and maintained a good relationship over the years, even after Emily moved to Toronto. Emily told Faith several times she would be happy to host her whenever she wants. When Faith called and said she would be in Toronto later that day for a short visit, Emily said that Faith was more than welcome to stay with her.

Faith called her office and informed them she would be absent for a few days. She quickly packed a small bag, left a note for Mark saying she was going away for a few days, and went on her way. At that point I asked her how come she did not call Diana and update her with the latest news. Faith said Diana was on vacation with her family, and besides she wouldn’t have called her even if she were around. Although Diana was a loyal friend and not a gossip, she couldn’t face her.

Diana warned Faith for years about Nancy and she never took her seriously. Faith didn’t want to hear “I told you so”. However, when Faith arrived at Emily’s her friend knew right away, she was going through a hard time. Faith did not want to go into details but she said that she had a serious problem in her marriage. She also said her marriage probably would not last much longer.

Emily who went through divorce herself did not ask  any more questions. Despite what was waiting for her at home, Faith enjoyed her stay with Emily. She always loved the city of Toronto because it has so much to offer. Faith started to worry a little bit on her way back home. She knew she could not postpone facing Mark and her parents any longer. It was almost midnight by the time she arrived home. Fortunately, Mark wasn’t home.

The day after Faith went to see her lawyer. Right from the beginning she made it clear that come hell or high water, she did not want war with Mark. Faith and Mark had an prenuptial agreement which should facilitate the divorce process. According to the agreement, Faith would have full custody of the children, and this was the most important thing for her. Faith wanted this over with as soon as possible for her sake and for her children’s as well.

When Faith finished with her lawyer, she called Mark’s office. She was told he was out of the office meeting with a client and wasn’t expected back until tomorrow. Faith had a very good idea who the client might be…….. 😦 . She drove to her sister’s condo. When she saw Mark’s car parked there she decided to send the lovers the incriminating pictures she had taken a few days before.

Faith called her parents and said she was on her way to see them. Her parents took it very hard as she expected, and her mother couldn’t stop crying. They said Nancy was always a selfish person, but they never believed she could be so cruel to her own sister. Especially after all she did for her. When Faith arrived home, Mark’s car was in the drive way, which didn’t surprise her.

Faith went inside the house. Mark was sitting at the kitchen table. He could barely look at her. He mumbled “I’m sorry.” Faith answered “No you aren’t, you’re sorry you got caught.” She looked at the man who she loved so much and didn’t feel anything for him except pity. He looked like he aged 10 years. After a few minutes of silence, Mark said he took full responsibility and would do whatever she asked. Mark begged her not to say anything to their boys about him having an affair with Nancy.

Faith agreed they shouldn’t be told about it. She told Mark she already started the divorce process. He looked surprised but didn’t say anything. At that point, I was curious if Faith asked Mark why he did it. She said she didn’t care and just wanted him out of her life. She added that if Mark hadn’t cheated with her sister, she might not have acted so quickly to get a divorce. Faith probably would have forgiven him and tried to save her marriage, as she is a realistic person and knows that people can make mistakes.

However, when the boys came back from summer camp, Faith and Mark told them they were going to separate. Mark said he was leaving the house. The boys were teenagers and did not seem bothered since their father had not been present in their lives for some time. Anyway, after Diana returned from her vacation, Faith went to her and updated her with the news.

She asked Diana to keep it private. Diana gave her a big hug and with tears in her eyes said she was very sorry. She did not say I told you so………… Against all odds the divorce process went quickly. Short time after Faith and Mark got divorce, Nancy dumped Mark for some rich guy…………

Anyway, when Faith’s older son finished high school, he decided to go to University of Toronto. Faith fulfilled a dream and moved with her children to Toronto. When Faith finished her story she looked calm like after confession, and I felt like a priest………. 🙂 After hearing Faith story I couldn’t help but wonder how come she did not express resentment toward her sister’s part in this episode.

Faith told me that it took her years of therapy to overcome her anger. For years Faith tried to get closer to Nancy, she put her sister before herself just because she loved her so much. While Nancy was constantly inconsiderate of her in every possible way. In retrospect, Faith understood Nancy wanted everything she had including her nerdy husband……………….. 🙂

Diana said what Faith was thinking for a long time but didn’t dare say it out loud. Diana suggested that Faith and Mark go to couples therapy. She even recommended one. When Faith told Mark that they should go to couples therapy, he was vehemently opposed to it. He said he was just having a hard time at work and the situation would improve in the near future.

Mark sounded sincere and Faith, who was always a practical person, didn’t want to give up on her marriage of more than 20 years. She was sure “this too shall pass,” the moment she stopped nagging him.

However, Faith received a promotion at work. To celebrate the occasion, she invited her family and some of her closest friends to dinner. The atmosphere at the dinner was good. Mark looked relaxed and smiled a lot for a change, Nancy said she got the keys to her new condo and said she would move there as soon as the new furniture she had bought arrived. The next day Diana called and said the dinner was lovely.

She also said she paid close attention to Mark’s behavior all evening and she wasn’t sure Faith would want to hear what she had to say. But Faith told her to go ahead and say what was on her mind. Diana said Mark looked happier than usual. In fact, she thought he was in love with Nancy who didn’t stop flirting with him all evening. They often looked at each other and smiled, like they were hiding some secret. Faith thought Diana was losing her mind. Faith laughed as if she’d just heard a good joke, and dismissed what Diana said.

Faith told Diana that those two never liked each other. She said Mark once told her that even if Nancy was the last woman on earth, he wouldn’t come close to her. Mark thought Nancy was very nasty and a self absorbed person. While for Nancy, Mark as a man wasn’t very attractive and not wild enough. She called him self-righteous and boring. Faith and Diana agreed to disagree and that was the end of the conversation.

Anyhow, it was summer break and Faith’s boys, like every year, went to summer camp. The day the boys left, Faith took a day off work. She called her sister and asked her if she would like to join her for lunch. Nancy said she would have joined her if she could but her furniture was being delivered that day and she had to stay home. Faith went shopping and decided to go to Nancy’s favorite restaurant, order some takeout, go to her sister’s condo, and have lunch with her.

When she arrived at Nancy’s condo, she heard loud music coming from inside. She knocked on the door several times, but nobody answered. She accidentally pressed the door handle and the door opened. She peeked inside and saw the apartment was completely furnished. Faith thought maybe it was the wrong apartment, but her sister’s name was listed on the door, and Nancy’s portraits were hanging on the walls.

Faith went into the condo and called her sister’s name…..but she didn’t answer. The music was so loud she thought……….and she moved towards the bedroom. When she came closer, she froze in her tracks…… Faith couldn’t believe what she saw. She saw the reflection of her beloved husband and her sister from the mirror on the wall next to the bed. They passionately made love and did not notice Faith from the angle she was standing at.

Faith, who was stunned and couldn’t get a word out of her mouth, immediately regained her composure. She took several pictures of the lovers on her phone and quickly left the condo. When she arrived at her car, she could barely stop her tears. She tried turning on the ignition, but her hands were shaking. While she was trying to calm herself, she noticed Mark’s car was parked not too far away from her. Faith wondered how she missed it before.

After driving for two hours without knowing what she would do with herself, she drove home. When Faith got home she was exhausted. She knew one thing for sure, her marriage was over! Faith also knew she was at the beginning of a complicated  process and didn’t know how it would end. The first thing she did was to make an appointment with a lawyer. She needed to speak with her parents as well, but she felt she could not face them that day.

Faith thanked God that her children were at a summer camp which left her the time to plan her next moves without any distractions. Faith tried not to think about the conversation she needed to have with Mark. She couldn’t deal with him for a while, she was too vulnerable for that. All that she wanted was to disappear for a few day until she calmed down…………….

 

TO BE CONTINUED……………..

 

 

 

Faith approached Mark in a non confrontational way. She used a lot of humor and told Mark she missed him. She told him about the basement idea and the fact that she had not yet offered anything to her sister. Faith said to Mark she would respect his decision not to host her sister. Anyway, if he changed his mind, she promised Nancy would not be in his way.

It worked like magic. Mark agreed to meet his wife half way. The day after, Faith called her sister and invited her to stay with them. Nancy didn’t hesitate for a moment and immediately accepted her sister’s offer. Faith hired a company that did all the work needed to be done in the basement, to have it ready for Nancy when she moved in. She even bought new furniture.

After the work was finished, the basement looked so good that Faith and Mark said they would rent  the place after Nancy moves out. Two weeks later Nancy moved to her sister’s house. She made an effort not to bump into her brother in law and not to interfere in her sister’s life. In the beginning when Nancy was invited to join her sister’s family meals, Mark would leave the table immediately after he finished eating.

Over time there was an improvement in their relationship. They talked to each other more often. Mark stopped ignoring Nancy and did not leave the room when she was around. Many times when Faith had to work late, Mark and Nancy would chat over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine until she came home from work. Faith loved the new attitude of both of them which created a pleasant atmosphere in the house.

Several months after Nancy returned to Canada, Faith suggested that Nancy have a painting exhibit. Faith thought that her sister should rent some place for the event and she would invite her acquaintances as she had promised Nancy before she moved back to Canada, and so it was. Many people attended the exhibit. The event was more successful than expected and quite a few paintings were bought that evening. Faith and the family were happy for Nancy’s success.

At the same time, Faith felt there was a change in Mark’s behavior. Their intimate relationship was diminishing. He wasn’t around when she needed him, and he frequently complained about work overload. Mark went from Faith’s best friend and someone who was always there for her and their children to an inaccessible person. For someone that complained a lot about lack of time, he went to the gym more often and even hired a personal trainer.

He started socializing regularly with his friends, or at least this is what he claimed, which Faith supported as long as he could fulfill his responsibilities at home. But Mark, who liked to drive his kids to their practices and football games at least twice a week, started making excuses why he couldn’t take them. Even when he promised he would come to watch the games, he didn’t show up. In fact, he missed one of the most important games of the season. Mark also missed teachers meetings and Faith found herself going to the meetings alone.

Mark, who is a lawyer, worked from home in the mornings and went to the office in the afternoon until late at night. Faith drew Mark’s attention several times to the fact that he was neglecting his family. Every time he promised he would change and yet he never kept his word. Faith felt she could use a friend as she needed to talk with someone. The best person would be her mother but she did not want to involve her parents and certainly not her sister either.

In the meantime, Nancy made a pretty good living from her paintings after the successful exhibit. Faith realized she barely saw her sister since the big event. Nancy was focused on herself and her paintings. She was not really interested in what was happening with her sister. After about a year of living under her sister’s roof, Nancy finally told Faith she was ready to move to her own apartment.

Nancy said she saw a very nice condo not too far away and already signed the contract. Faith was happy for her sister but her mind was preoccupied. She decided to share with Diana what she was going through, as Diana is an objective person and experienced a couple of crises in her marriage. Faith met with Diana and spilled it out. Diana said that Mark was probably having an affair, which did not surprise Faith…………..

 

TO BE CONTINUED………….

From what Faith told me, Diana is a lot like Kramer from Seinfeld……… 🙂 every time that the truth needs to be said, her friends turn to her. For one of Diana’s birthdays, her husband took her on a cruise. When they went to grab a drink from the bar, they were surprised to see that the bartender was Nancy.

Nancy, who was never a modest person, often boasted about her success overseas. She used to say to her family and friends that one day she would be a famous painter. Actually, Diana was told a few months before by Nancy that she opened a portrait gallery with her friend. Nancy also said her paintings sold like hot cakes. So Diana asked her out of curiosity “Tell me dear…….. are your paintings still flying off the shelves?” ………… 🙂 Nancy said “Of course”. Diana countered with “Then why are you working at the bar?”

Her answer was that one of her friends in management asked her to temporarily run the bar. During the week long cruise Diana noticed Nancy was not only working as a bartender, but was also working as a waitress in the dining room. In fact, she was part of the permanent staff of the ship’s crew and this is what she did for a living.

All these years that Nancy lived overseas, Faith tried to persuade her to come back to Canada. But after Diana told her what her sister was really doing for a living, Faith was even more insistent with her. Faith promised Nancy she would help her sell her paintings as she knows many people. Nancy refused and always said she was earning a good living where she was. In one of the conversations Faith had with Nancy, her sister suddenly expressed her desire to return home permanently.

For a change Nancy admitted she was having difficulty selling her paintings. Nancy said it was hard for her to earn a living as a portrait painter. This was the first time in many years that Nancy opened up and spoke from her heart. She also said that all the years she was living overseas she didn’t save any money. If she wanted to come back to Canada, she needed a place to stay and to pay for all her living expenses. She would have to start all over again.

Faith felt that Nancy was going through a difficult time. She was touched by her sister’s honesty and her heart went out to her. Faith decided she had to help Nancy and do whatever she could for her. That same day she updated Mark about the conversation she had with Nancy. Faith told her husband that she would like her sister to come and stay with them for a while until she could stand on her own two feet.

Faith suggested that Nancy stay in the spare bedroom and paint in the attic. Mark didn’t like the idea of Nancy staying with them. Actually, he didn’t want anything to do with her. He thought she was an arrogant person and difficult to get along with. In short, he thought Nancy was a pain in the ass.

He was willing to help Nancy with the rent and with her other expenses as long as she wouldn’t live under their roof. But Faith wanted to be close to her sister as she felt Nancy needed the support of her family. Faith said that after a few days of arguing, her and Mark were avoiding each other for almost a week. For the first time since they started dating, there was complete silence between them. Faith didn’t like the tension between her and her husband. She thought she had to find a solution that Mark could live with.

She went to her parents for advice. Her parents felt uncomfortable about the situation since they lived in a very tiny apartment. They had no room for their own daughter to stay with them. But they said they might be able to help Nancy pay some of her expenses. They also said that it would be better for Faith and Mark if Nancy lived elsewhere as she is inflexible and a very demanding person.

Faith parents thought she shouldn’t fight with her husband because of her sister, especially since she had not even asked Nancy if she wished to stay with them. When Faith came home, something popped into her head. She thought Nancy could stay in the basement apartment which until now had been used as storage space. The basement could be a good solution, as it was like a separate apartment and included it’s own entrance.

Faith could move all the stuff into one room which would leave enough space for her sister. Still, she needed Mark’s approval. Mark was the love of her life and there is no way she would do anything without his agreement. She called and told him she would like to talk with him over dinner. To create a positive atmosphere, Faith cooked Mark’s favorite meal and bought an excellent wine……….

 

TO BE CONTINUED……………………

It is generally accepted that family is very important in our lives, especially if we’re lucky and have a loving and supportive one. On the other hand, when relationships within the family are murky and there is envy instead of rejoicing in your successes, in that case one’s family can be a huge burden. There are situations in life when you are willing to live a lie and repress the truth, because it’s hard for you to deal with the facts. One of these situations is dealing with betrayal by a first degree relative.

Not too long ago I attended a baking workshop. During the break I had a nice conversation with one of the workshop participants whose name was Faith. We talked mainly about recipes but also about general things. At the end of the session, she asked if I was in a hurry. I said I wasn’t and she suggested we go for coffee at Starbucks. To my surprise, Faith was a very open person, which is very unusual in Canadian culture. Faith said she was not originally from Toronto and she moved to the city with her two sons after her divorce.

I soon realized she wanted to be listened to even if the person sitting opposite to her was a complete stranger. However, she told me she came from a small family and she has a twin sister whose name is Nancy. The two sisters were close when they were children. They used to share a room and clothes. They had mutual friends and did almost everything together. They grew apart as they got older.

They had very different mind sets and different tastes in men. Faith wanted a stable life, to marry a man who was settled, and have a family. While her sister was looking for thrills and excitement. Nancy liked to travel the world and go to exotic places. She used to date unusual men, and marriage and children were never her top priorities. Faith loved Nancy as she is and would go out of the way to help her. While Nancy always criticized her sister and would never offer any help unless it served her interests.

Faith remembered the first time she introduced her ex to her family. Her parents fell in love with Mark right away. He was shy and a gentleman, with old-fashioned values, everything she dreamed of. However, her sister didn’t like his type. She said he was too quiet for her and looked like a nerd. When Mark proposed, Faith was thrilled. The first person she called was her beloved sister who was living overseas with her new boyfriend.

Faith was moved to tears when she told her sister about her marriage proposal. She also asked Nancy to be her maid of honor. Nancy, who was not enthusiastic about her future brother-in-law, told Faith that she could do better than him. Since Faith knew how her sister felt about her fiance, she didn’t take it to heart. Faith thought Nancy would learn to like him over time, and made her promise she would be there for her on her wedding day.

Nancy came to the wedding as she promised. She came alone without her boyfriend and started to drink a few hours before the ceremony. By the time the ceremony began, she was drunk. She flirted with almost every man who attended the event and embarrassed her family. Shortly after the wedding Nancy went back to her boyfriend.

The sisters went in different directions. Faith worked at the same company for many years, and was promoted several times. Nancy is a creative person, an artist who paints portraits. Faith said that although her sister is talented, she could not make a living from her paintings. Most of the time Nancy worked at temporary jobs as a waitress or a bartender to support herself, and from time to time she had a sugar daddy. Anytime Nancy had extra money she used to spend it on expensive trips.

To impress her family, she brought expensive gifts when she came to visit them. Therefore, Faith and her parents thought she was doing well overseas. A couple of years after faith got married she and her spouse had their first child. After three years the second child was born. When Nancy came for a visit she barely spent time with her nephews. Faith did not take it personally because she knew her sister didn’t really like children. Actually, Nancy preferred dogs instead.

Faith and Nancy have a childhood friend, her name is Diana. When Nancy left Canada, Faith and Diana became closer. Diana is a special person. Most of the time she says what she really thinks, which is usually the truth (generally this is unacceptable in Canada). She simply puts a mirror in front of everyone’s face. Many times Diana told Faith that Nancy was jealous of her, and she shouldn’t trust her. Faith thought Diana was exaggerating and never took her words seriously…………….

TO BE CONTINUED………………………

I’ll never understand how people who deliberately mislead seniors or anyone who is helpless, can live with themselves. Those people use sophisticated methods to exploit others. There are companies that sell their products door to door, and unfortunately some of their salespersons have an aggressive attitude. They usually target seniors among others. They overwhelm them with details in order to persuade them to buy products which they do not necessarily need.

Those opportunists do it over the phone as well. They succeed in obtaining the senior’s credit card number by persuasion and concealing the truth. They also sometimes sign them on binding contracts without the seniors understanding what they are signing. When the target discovers the deception and ask to cancel the deal, the salesperson occasionally threatens to sue them.

My mother was victimized several times by those manipulative bastards who took a lot of money from her. My mother is an honest and respectful person who always had faith in people. She thought everyone was like her (I would say she was very naive). A few years ago she received a phone call from a company which sold lottery tickets. The saleswoman, whose name was Natalie, tried to convince her to buy tickets for a lottery that takes place once a month.

My mother made it clear she was not interested in what she had to offer and certainly did not want to commit to a monthly payment. Natalie promised this was a one time payment, and that her chances of winning were really good. She spoke with her for an hour. Natalie knew the longer she kept my mother on the phone, the better her chances were to make the sale. She practically promised her the moon. Natalie somehow persuaded my mother to give her the credit card number.

Six months later, my mother got a credit card statement from the bank and realized she had an automatic charge for the same amount every month. She asked the teller what this was all about. He said it was for the lottery ticket. My mother was so irritated and asked to immediately cancel the  monthly charge. When she came home she called the company and asked for Natalie. She was told there was no one by that name working there.

My Mom explained to whoever answered the phone what she was promised, and was told there was no such thing as a one time payment. In addition, she was committed for a full year. My Mother told the person that she already cancelled the payment as she didn’t agree to it in the first place. She was threatened with legal action and this is what happened.

My Mom started to receive a monthly letter from an attorney who represented the lottery, demanding payment of the outstanding amount plus interest. The amount owing went up every month. She was so upset as she realized she was lied to. It was not enough she got those letters, they would harass her on the phone as well. At some point my brother got involved.

He called the company and after explaining the problem, he concluded they weren’t going to back down. But he was determined to resolve the situation. Therefore, he demanded to hear the recorded conversation between my Mom and the saleswoman. He asked several times for it to be sent to him. The company wasn’t so anxious to supply the recording but at some point they understood that my brother wouldn’t be intimidated and would not give up until he found the truth.

In the end, he received the recording and he heard the saleswoman tried a number of different sleazy tactics to trick my Mom to make the purchase. Natalie was absolutely relentless while my Mother was reluctant and uncomfortable with the whole thing. After hearing the recording, my brother told the company they have no case and no judge would accept their claim. But they are more than welcome to go to court over this.

However, my brother asked my Mom to ignore any letters or phone calls she got from the lottery. He said he doubted they would bother her anymore and if they do he would take care of it. My brother also was willing to pay the outstanding balance for my mother’s sake. But after a while she stopped getting any phone calls or letters.

It is well known that bank employees are pressured to sell loans, overdraft protection, insurance, expensive bank accounts, etc, to their customers. The problem is that among their customers there are quite a few people who live off their monthly pension cheques. These people have been taken advantage of by the bank employees who add services to their account that they didn’t ask for or didn’t need. Sadly this frequently happens despite the fact that the bankers are well aware that some of the victims are vulnerable, and suffer from a lack of knowledge.

I am not a senior, I’m not poor or disadvantaged. I am also a little suspicious and not easy to fool. Years ago a personal banker talked me into adding overdraft protection to my bank account, even though I really didn’t need it. I paid for this so called protection for almost 20 years and it cost me a lot of money. I don’t know how this happened. I guess I wasn’t paying attention. This situation can happen to anyone. Therefore, people must ask questions before agreeing to anything and especially before signing any documents.

Being in a relationship is challenging, and frequently requires compromising. When your spouse or your partner is jealous, it makes it even more complicated. Jealousy between partners sometimes stems from lack of self confidence or fear of losing the partner. However, human beings are not supposed to be the property of anyone even when they get married.

I have a friend that got married at the age of 18 with a guy who was a little bit older than her. She was naive and inexperienced, while he was more mature. Both were born and raised in Eastern Europe and shared the same culture. When the guy was a teenager, he and his family moved to a Western country. He met my friend when he visited his relatives in his native country.

After they got married, she moved to his country and integrated into it. When I first met her, I saw a beautiful young lady who was wearing conservative clothes which did not suit her. She had a thick accent and it was sometimes a little hard to understand her. She changed her style over time. She was encouraged by her mother who told her that as a woman she should develop herself, be independent and get a job, and never rely on any man. She started working, got her driver’s license and bought a car. Since she was doing so well and smiled most of the time, I believed she was happy.

When my friend and I would have a girl’s evening, we would ask her to join us. But she always said that she couldn’t. We assumed that the reason was because she had small children. Anyway, one day I told her we were going out at night and she was welcome to come along. I wasn’t prepared for her answer. She told me her husband wouldn’t let her go unless he came with her, and she asked if he could come with us. It sounds awkward as it was a ladies night out, but my friend and I agreed because we really wanted her to attend.

We went to a karaoke club and were having a great time. We were singing and drinking while my friend, who is usually outgoing, sat there uncomfortably and her spouse looked really out of place. I felt so sorry for her. Anyhow, shortly after we went out she admitted her husband was possessive of her, and tried to run her life once she started working. I wasn’t surprised to hear this because as long as she was the little woman who stayed at home and raised the children, he was pleased. The minute she became financially independent, he got jealous and wanted to clip her wings.

He was afraid he would lose control over her life even though he earned much more than she did. After a while my friend told me there were problems in their marriage. She found out he was in regular contact with several women on the internet. One thing led to another, and unfortunately their relationship deteriorated and led to an ugly divorce. She had a very hard time during the divorce process. But after it was over with she behaved as though she had been released from a cage.

The funny thing is, researchers show that people with a tendency to cheat tend to be more jealous of their partner. Jealousy is kind of possessiveness when it’s over the top. It creates a lot of tension in the relationship. It also causes a lot of unnecessary suffering, as frequently it is only in the mind of the person who is jealous. Someone I know checks her husband’s cell phone every time he comes home from work. In addition, she obsessively pokes around in his pockets.

I remember I was in some party, and she and her spouse were there as well. At some point, she came over to catch up with me. I knew right away that the party was over for me …. and I was right. The entire evening she was obsessed with any woman who just passed nearby her husband. She was especially focused on one lady, who she claims was flirting with her husband. She drove me nuts all evening. In the end we realized that the lady under suspicion was interested in women more than men…… 🙂 How could anybody live with a person who is such a lunatic…… 🙂 in my opinion, her spouse should get the Nobel Prize for tolerating her ………. 🙂

It is not simple to lead a healthy lifestyle. It takes a lot of effort and perseverance. You have to get rid of all kinds of unhealthy habits you have acquired over the years. You should exercise regularly. Meditation has to be part of your daily routine, and most of all, you have to be self-disciplined. Look at it as a long term investment, and striving for a high quality of life. One should start gradually to achieve this goal, because I believe big changes are made in small steps.

When I decided to change my lifestyle, I did it without the help of a specialist. I slowly got rid of all kinds of bad habits. For example, I liked to drink soft drinks that contained a large amount of sugar. I used to add two and a half tsp of sugar in my coffee, several times a day. I ate only white bread. My breakfast used to be cake or cookies. I didn’t limit myself since I was thin. I thought it wouldn’t hurt me, so I ate until I was full. I smoked for many years and exercise wasn’t in my vocabulary….. 🙂 All this is water under the bridge.

These are the changes I made. (1). I stopped drinking soft drinks. Instead, I have been drinking at least one and a half liters of water a day. Water has quite a few advantages, and I don’t need studies to confirm this since I know it is a fact. Water gives you more energy, and can prevent constipation. It hydrates you, it gives you a feeling of satiety, which can help you lose weight, etc.

(2). I reduced the amount of sugar I put in my coffee. I also reduced the amount of coffee I used to drink (as I experience anxiety, and it negatively affected me). Needless to say, too much sugar is bad for your health.

(3). No more cake and cookies for breakfast. I have been eating a “real breakfast” in the morning which includes fresh vegetables, protein, carbohydrates and 1 tbsp of olive oil. It is a healthy fat, and good for the plumbing ….. 🙂 Mind you, one should be careful not to overdo it.

I never skipped breakfast, even before I started to integrate healthy habits into my daily life. Breakfast is a very important meal. Some experts say is it the most important meal. Studies show that breakfast skippers have a tendency to gain weight, as compared to people who regularly eat breakfast. They are more likely to overeat during the day to make up for the missing energy. Also, these people have an increased risk for developing type 2 diabetes.

(4). I avoid eating white bread or using white flour almost completely. I reduced the amount of bread I used to eat. I mostly eat whole grain bread and sometimes whole wheat. Researchers show that whole grain bread is more nutritious. Since whole grain isn’t overly processed, it takes longer to be turned into sugar. This means that the level of sugar in the bloodstream is kept lower.

Anyway, I did not give up on cakes and cookies, but I rarely buy them in a bakery or in a store. I bake pastries at home. I usually use healthy ingredients such as nuts, seeds, whole wheat flour, canola oil, etc. However there is some difference of opinion about how healthy whole wheat flour and canola oil are. I also reduce the amount of sugar and oil or butter to half. For example, if I need to put in the pastry 1 cup of oil or 200 grams of butter, I add 1/2 of the amount or even less and for the other half I substitute freshly squeezed orange juice. Regarding sugar, I don’t mind eating baked goods with less sugar.

(5). I quit smoking. It is something I wanted to do for a long time. Everyone knows why they should not smoke. In addition, there are plenty of studies which confirm this.

(6). I exercise regularly. When I started, I worked out 3 times a week. I slowly increased it to 6 times per week.

(7). Meditation, to reduce stress and for positive emotions. I meditate every single day for approximately 1 hour. In the morning 15 minutes, in the middle of the day half an hour, and before going to sleep another 15 minutes.

I have to mention that all those changes I made didn’t happen overnight. It took time and it was a long process which gradually became part of my daily routine. My goal is not to need medication at all when I grow older. Amen.

There is something very important to keep in mind, the bad habits you had when you were younger, you can’t get away with when you’re older. Also when you grow older your metabolism slows down and you have a tendency to gain weight easily.