Exercise is a way of life for me. Many years ago it become an inseparable part of my life. Although the last thing I want to do when I wake up in the morning is exercise,  once I start, I really enjoy it. Today there is much greater awareness of the importance of physical fitness among people of all ages.

Studies show that people are healthier when they exercise regularly and combine it with proper nutrition. Being physically fit has a number of benefits, such as strengthening our immune system, affecting our mood by reducing the feeling of anxiety and depression, lowering blood sugar levels, etc.

I remember years ago I worked as a waitress in a restaurant that was located on the beach. At the end of my shift which was very early in the morning, seniors used to come and exercise on the beach. Instead of going to sleep, my co-workers and I would watch them until sunrise. It was a pleasure to watch how determined they were.

Anyway, when I was young, physical activity was out of the question. It looked like punishment to me. I was so lazy that just the thought of exercising made me exhausted…….. 🙂 But as I grew older I understood how necessary it is to make it a habit.

I signed up at a gym which I realized later was too fancy for me. When I went to the gym, I wore simple and comfortable clothes, that were much too big on me and no makeup. Therefore, I looked like a hanger or homeless person……… 🙂 depending on who you ask………

On the other hand, most of the people who came to the gym wore expensive clothing brands. They looked as if they had just stepped out of a fashion magazine. People would come more to socialize, or to look for love, or whatever, rather than working out.

I was single at the time. I liked the environment and went with the flow. I behaved like them. From an ugly duckling I turned into a beautiful swan…….. 🙂 I surprised even myself as I have high self-discipline. I signed up at the gym to improve my physical fitness which I didn’t do, nor did I find love……. But it was fun and I had a good time.

Well…….. it is water under the bridge now, since then I realized in order to maintain my health, I have to persevere and exercise regularly. However, from my experience, I can say that since I started exercising regularly, I have more energy, and I don’t catch a cold in the winter like I used too.

As well, when I experience a migraine, fifty minutes walking or running on the treadmill gives me some pain relief. Yes, physical activity has so many benefits for our body and our soul. Still there are quite a few people out there who are unwilling to commit to it out of laziness, even though it can improve their general health.

I have a friend who I used to go hiking with from time to time. We would agree on a day and time, and most of the time she didn’t bother showing up.When I called her later on, she had all kind of excuses except her being lazy. The only exercise that she liked to do is going back and forth from the refrigerator to the couch…….. 🙂

Another activity she liked is using the remote to change channels……….. 🙂 Every week she used to say I promise I will start exercising on Sunday…….. And I would benefit from it?!…………….

Unfortunately the ideal formula for finding a livelihood has not yet been invented. Some people enjoy what they do for living, and they are lucky. While for others it is only a livelihood. There are so many qualified people who can’t find a decent job, just because nobody gave them the opportunity to show their skills.

Many of these people are over forty. Although they have a lot of experience, and  can contribute a great deal to any company. Yet, when they go for an interview, they frequently hear that they can’t be hired due to being over qualified.

From my experience, many times employers prefer to employ an inexperienced  person. This way they can pay them a low salary and no benefits. You would think any employer would be delighted to have a knowledgeable employee, but sadly it doesn’t always work this way.

However, when one desperately needs to find a job, he or she has to compromise and take whatever is available in the market. Sometimes after many years in the labor market, partly in senior positions, a person has to start from scratch and settle for a low wage.

I know someone who has a Master’s degree in Business, and a lot of experience in her field. She worked for many years at one company, and was unexpectedly laid off in her early 40’s. She looked for an equivalent position in her field for a number of years, without any luck. She decided to take a number of temporary jobs, which were all junior level positions.

One day she heard about an open position at a company overseas that fit her skills and experience. She went on an interview, was offered the job, which she accepted, and moved to a new country a few weeks later. Unfortunately, after less than a year at her new job, the company suffered some major financial setbacks and declared bankruptcy. She was out of work again. This is what you call bad luck…..

Working in a place which you don’t like, and does not suit your skills just because you need to support your family, and there is no alternative, is a very hard thing to cope with. I am not even talking about what it does to your emotional health. We spend a big part of our life at work. Therefore, it is very important we enjoy what we do for a living.

Over the years I met quite a few people who were willing to leave their family and their country behind and move to a foreign country, just to go after they dream and do what the love. In my opinion, employees are more productive at work when they are valued by their employers, and earn a decent salary. In addition, satisfaction from work is no less important than an adequate salary.

In conclusion, the person who loves what they are doing for a living, and makes good money as well, should consider themselves a very fortunate person.

Many people today not only communicate via the internet, but they also run a big part of their lives through social media. They share almost everything with the surroundings. The fact that they are susceptible makes them a target of cyberbullying.

Social media fulfills our dreams, it give us a variety of opportunities to express ourselves. Also it gives some of us a chance to make a decent living, sometimes even to be ridiculous and make fun of ourselves…….. 🙂 On the other hand we lose our privacy. In addition, we are subjected to malicious reviews who spread poison everywhere.

I frequently read nasty comments posted by people, on articles or photos or whatever, on the internet. Frankly, I don’t understand, what do they get out of it? They are hurting and insulting others, while hiding behind the keyboard which they wouldn’t have dared to do, if they were standing in front of you. Many times these cowards comment anonymously.

These people are called keyboard offenders. I recently read some article which irritated me, about an act of bullying by an adult. One lady took some pictures of her kid and his classmates in the swimming pool. She sent the images to the parents WhatsApp group. One of the parents wrote a few nasty comments about one of the children who is a little overweight.

The idiot is over forty years old and he should know better. What he did was disgusting. Anyway, the mother of the child who was bullied said her boy did not see the comments, otherwise he wouldn’t have left the house at all. I am a big believer in what goes around come around………

Unfortunately, you hear about bullying among children on a daily basis. Sometimes kids can be more cruel than adults, and the consequences could lead to disaster. Occasionally children who have been bullied by their classmates hurt themselves as they do not have the tools to cope with the humiliations.

In my opinion, it is a matter of upbringing. If parents raised their children to be sensitive, compassionate, and respectful to others, the chance they will be bullies is smaller. Some studies shows that often children who suffer from bullying at school, stop attending. They do not always share what they are going through with their parents. They frequently become withdrawn and hard to approach.

The fact is that bullying has always existed, especially in schools, long before social media. I remember when I was in elementary school, there was a student or two who were aggressive and enjoyed tormenting their classmates. They would threaten the rest of the students, and sometimes even used violence to impose their will on others. Usually those kids came from difficult family circumstances.

However, this is water under the bridge. Since then I learned when bullies threaten you, and you  surrender to their demands, it only encourages them as you look weak and you remain a target. On the other hand, when you stand up to them, they will think twice before messing with you.

This mind set applies to every stage of our lives. The world is like a zoo, the stronger one survives longer. C’est la via……………

 

 

My father had multiple small strokes. Later on, he suffered a heart attack, and after that he was diagnosed with dementia. My father was never a big talker. When I moved to Canada, I used to call him pretty often. Usually the conversation lasted no more than a few minutes, and I did most of the talking.

One day while I was speaking with him, I realized that I couldn’t understand what he was saying. Not because he wasn’t clear but because he went off topic. Also he was more talkative than usual. I called my younger brother, and told him about the bizarre conversation I had with our father. He said he noticed something was wrong, and he would take him to see a neurologist.

A few days later, my brothers went to visit my father and he complained of having back pain. They also found out he collapsed the night before. They took him to the after-hours walk in clinic. He had an EKG and was sent to the hospital. He had various tests done while there. The doctors informed my brother that my father had several small strokes and also a heart attack.

He was hospitalized and had a Cardiac Catheterization. Since he had two clogged arteries, two stents were implanted to expand the blockages. He stayed in the hospital a couple of days after the procedure. The doctors told my family that he had dementia, and recommended he go to a rehab facility. By the way, when my father came to the hospital, he walked in. He left in a wheelchair.

Most of his life my father was a strong and active person. He never had a car, so he rode his bicycle everywhere. He also took good care of himself and watched what he ate. When he retired, he slowly stopped being active and sat around too much. He spent most of his time reading and watched a little T.V. Over time he had problems walking and his posture deteriorated.

His feet were swollen as well, because of poor circulation. I begged him to be more active, but he would come out with all kinds of excuses why he could not do it. Sometimes he would agree just to get me off his back and did nothing. It was clear that adopting such a lifestyle would lead to disaster. I have to say it didn’t happen overnight, but it was only a matter of time.

However, my father went to a rehab facility after he was released from the hospital. The next day my family came to visit him and were surprised. He looked like a zombie. When they asked the doctors why he looked that way, they were told he was restless and agitated, so they give him a sedative………

My brother moved him from there almost immediately, to one of the top rehab facilities. He didn’t want to stay there, and most of the time did not cooperate with the staff. Sadly, it was impossible to know what was going on in his head. Anyway, he stayed in rehab for approximately three weeks, and even started walking a little bit. Then the doctors told my family there is nothing else they could do for him.

When he came back home, he needed care 24/7 which my brother arranged. My father lost his independence. As time went by, he stopped walking and talking. He was depressed and didn’t want to live. He barely ate anything. I could not communicate with him anymore, and I don’t think he recognized me at all, when I came for a visit. He suffered badly for two years, until his body gave out. May he rest in peace.

After what happened to my father, I did a lot of reading. I read quite a few articles written by doctors, about how to prevent and decrease the chance of having a stroke and a heart attack. The repeated advice was this: to adopt a healthy lifestyle, such as eating a balanced diet, not smoking, drinking a moderate amount of alcohol, control of blood pressure, and getting regular exercise, etc.

About Dementia, although there’s no definitive way to prevent dementia, yet adopting a healthy lifestyle is highly recommended, in addition to cognitive training. Research shows it can reduce the risk of developing the disease. It is very important to know that some doctors believe there is a connection between certain types of stroke and dementia. For example, Vascular Dementia; when someone had several small strokes that damage the brain, sometimes without even anyone noticing. This can lead to dementia.

I have been living in a country where manners are an inseparable part of the culture, and I love it. However, some people take politeness a little too far. I appreciate polite people but I value honesty more. Sincerity is the basis of a good relationship, especially in the family and between friends.

If I did or said something wrong or stupid, I would like to be told instead of being ignored, particularly if I considered the person to be my friend. Sometimes things are unintentionally said or done without meaning to hurt anyone. Still someone was insulted because he misunderstood you. A real friend would give you the opportunity to explain yourself and to apologize if you need to, and then move on.

This is how adults should behave. Mind you, there are exceptions, people that you don’t want to go down this road with. They deliberately hurt you without any good reason, put a big smile on their face and act like nothing happened. I call this hypocrisy. These people are bad karma. Therefore, I do not even bother mentioning it, I just stop being in touch with them.

I have no problem when people disagree with me. It is completely legitimate that people have different opinions. It makes life more interesting. I find it very awkward to be around people who aren’t direct, since they don’t tell you what they are really thinking. Sometimes you feel the tension in the air. Everybody knows there is an elephant in the room, but nobody speaks about it.

Honesty does not hurt anyone as long as it is said the right way. In fact, honesty is liberating. I am not talking about things like discrimination, racism, etc, which are intolerable. I am talking about everyday conversations, and relationships with family and friends.

I have a friend who I love to hang out with, she is funny and has a great sense of humor, but she is also too polite and not a direct person. When I go clothes shopping with her, I am always disappointed. She never tells me the truth about how I look when I try something on, even though I look like a Christmas tree and all I need is the star on my head……… 🙂 🙂

Well, I am a direct person, so I have told her several times that if she wants to be polite and tell me the truth, she can always say….. you know what……… the dress looks nice on you but does not accentuate your beauty…….. 🙂 so why don’t you try something else instead.

Another very common situation that people face at work, is when one of their co-workers has a strong body odor. Everybody suffers and no one feels comfortable saying anything to them because, they are afraid to hurt their feelings. Although I consider myself a direct person, I admit I wouldn’t dare speak with anybody about it.

Nevertheless, a friend of mine worked with someone who had a very strong body odor. Although my friend who is usually indirect and is too polite a person, (even for a Canadian…:-), he decided to gently tell the guy that he has a problem, and even bought him some deodorant. He wanted to prevent people distancing themselves from him. It was surprising as instead of being insulted and embarrassed, the co-worker thanked him for his honesty. I think it was a brave thing to do on his part and I take my hat off to him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It appeared out of nowhere approximately 30 years ago. With confidence and small steps it conquered almost all of us. We take it with us everywhere; to family meals, to the bathroom, to our bed, and so on. Some of us even air our dirty laundry with it. It has become practically the most important thing in our lives. We need it nearly as much as we need oxygen. Many of us are addicted to it. It sounds almost like a lover. So let’s call a spade a spade, it’s our cell phone.

Wherever you go, you see people of all ages holding their cell phone so tight as though it was connected to them by intravenous………. 🙂 What amazes me the most is the parents who let their very young children have a cell phone. Nevertheless, in the grocery store, in the doctor’s waiting room, on the bus, everywhere you hear people speaking out loud on their phone, or fighting with someone.

Many times you have to listen to a very private conversation, which should be behind closed doors. Recently, I had to take the bus to meet one of my friends. When I got on the bus, I saw it was very crowded. People were standing everywhere, with one hand holding the pole, and the other holding their cell phone. Anyway, I managed to somehow find an empty seat.

The lady who sat next to me started talking to me. She was interested in the handmade hat and scarf I was wearing. When I told her that I crocheted them, she gave me a lot of compliments. I thought she was a nice lady. However, her phone rang, she excused herself and answered. In the beginning, she whispered into the phone.

Then she slowly raised her voice and very quickly it turned to shouts and curses. Every second word that came from her mouth was f*** you… I sat next to the window and was trapped. I felt uncomfortable as I had no place to go. I did not want to hear her conversation, but it was impossible to avoid it.

I remembered I took my MP3 with me, so I put the headphone on, but it didn’t help. I heard her screaming into the phone “you are a pig….. you’re all the same….pigs… “We take you out of the mud f*** you…..We clean and wash you, dress you up in a tuxedo, and the minute you see mud again, you jump in”……………

At some point I had to get off the bus. I tried to make eye contact with her, but I couldn’t. I thought she was looking at me, but she looked through me. It was frustrating since I realized I missed my stop. I looked around and saw people were indifferent to her shouting. They just ignored her.

When she finally finished her battle……. 🙂 the woman looked calm as if after therapy. She looked at my surprised face and said, “oh… I just was letting out some steam”…… I wanted to tell her, honey believe me it wasn’t some steam it was a volcanic eruption……… 🙂 🙂  Just before I got off the bus, she whispered to me and said “those bastards need to be re-educated…….. 🙂 I was late, but thank God off the bus. I received my freedom back………. 🙂

The arrival of the cell phone has brought many changes into our lives. For example, we can be reached most of the time. It is readily accessible in case of emergency. But there are disadvantages as well. You keep getting phone calls and messages from work or whoever, at the expense of quality time with your family. In addition, you frequently swipe your phone in social gatherings, as though you are a very important person, who is waiting for a message from the Queen of England…..

Furthermore, some people interact with their friends mainly through social media, on their cell phone instead of face to face. Once I went to have coffee with a lady who I was friendly with. After we caught up for a few minutes, I realized she was distracted. Her phone was on her lap which I couldn’t see and she was texting. I asked her if everything was OK, and she said yes. But I could tell her mind was elsewhere and from the smile on her face, she was flirting with someone.

Anyway, I suggested that we meet for coffee another time, since she looked distracted, and she said no, “I’m 100% with you”. She wanted to have her cake and eat it too. But I already lost interest and was ready to leave. I think this was disrespectful on her part, especially as it was her idea to meet me. In my opinion, the cell phone makes us less attentive and more inpatient with each other.

Millions of people worldwide suffer from depression, including quite a few children. Still there is not enough awareness of the disease. Frequently society treats people with a mental illness as though they have leprosy, due to ignorance, lack of knowledge, and difficulty in accepting the other and different.

Many people who experience depression, do not share what they are going through with their family or friends, as they’re afraid they’ll be stigmatized. Unfortunately, for young children, teenagers and seniors, it is even worse because they are more fragile. When a member of the family experiences severe depression, the entire family is affected. During my life I knew a number of people who suffered from depression to varying degrees. Some of them are close to me.

About a decade ago, someone I knew very well committed suicide. He left behind his precious young children who he adored, who had already lost their mother a couple of years before. I knew him for a long time. He never looked unhappy. On the contrary, he always smiled and joked around. He was taking anti-depressant pills ever since he was a teenager. But it was noticeable when he occasionally stopped taking the meditation.

He behaved differently and the atmosphere around him was tense. I don’t know how much people know about the side effects of anti-depressants. But they can be very strong, and he couldn’t tolerate them anymore. A few months before he passed away, he stopped taking the pills. His condition began to rapidly deteriorate until life was impossible for him and he ended it.

There is a tendency to think that most people who suffer from depression come from a particular background, but it is incorrect. In fact, studies show that approximately 10% of the world’s population experience depression at some point in their lives. In addition, it can affect anyone regardless of their standard of living, age, gender, etc.

Some people experience temporary depression for all kind of reasons, such as losing someone close to them, or having a hard time financially, or whatever. They start to use anti-depressant pills to get through the difficult time, and continue to take them for a long time, as no one tells them they should gradually reduce the medication.

On the other hand, there are people who suffer from chronic depression and should take medication, but refuse to take it, despite their difficulty in functioning day to day. Nevertheless, I read an interesting article about the reason some people try to kill themselves.

One of the reasons was, it is actually a call for help. They don’t really want to die, but they want the attention of the people around them. Sadly, people that really want to end their lives, do so. Even if they have to try several times until they succeed.

A sad story which recently happened, a talented singer whose music I grew up on, committed suicide. He was a revered singer and many people loved his music. Regrettably, he suffered from severe pain and depression. A few years ago he tried twice to end his life but he survived.

His loving family did their best to keep him safe. They were around him most of the time. One day he took advantage of his wife’s absence from home, and ended his life. The writing was on the wall for a few years, and no one could do anything about it.

 

Driving can be very frustrating, especially when there is bullying on the road. Most  drivers just want to arrive safely at their destination. Still, there are a minority of reckless drivers who drive as though they own the road. They put those around them under tremendous stress. By driving carelessly they turn the roads into a battlefield, while risking not only their life, but also the lives of others.

Who among us hasn’t experienced that?! Over the years as a driver, I ran into a number of uncomfortable situations on the road. For example, when the traffic light changes to green, immediately the driver behind me impatiently starts beeping his horn. It is even worse when someone is turning left, waiting for a break in the traffic, and the one behind him doesn’t take his hand off the horn.

I find it really annoying when drivers who want to leave a parking lot, aggressively move their car forward, and try to intimidate me. I consider myself a cautious driver. I always keep a distance between my car and the car in front of me. Also, I let drivers into the lane if it’s possible.

Anyway, while driving there are many scary circumstances. One of them is when someone cuts you off without signaling. They come from nowhere, driving at a very high speed and give you no time to react. As well, there are drivers who blow past you like you are parked , and when you get to the next red light, here they are standing next to you……………

In addition, many drivers interpret traffic laws as they please. For example, “at a red light you must bring your vehicle to a complete stop.” For them, it is only a recommendation………….. Further, the term “clearing the intersection” is not clearly understood by some drivers. In fact, they start clearing the intersection well before they even arrive at it………. This is called running a red light.

I regularly see drivers who are texting or speaking on their cell phones, while holding it, including on the highway. Obviously they think they’re running the world. However, by doing that they are distracted and not focused.

Drivers aren’t the only ones who cause problems on the road, sometimes pedestrians and cyclists do so as well. Many times while driving in residential areas at night, a pedestrian or cyclist comes out of nowhere and crosses the street. Occasionally they are wearing dark clothes which makes it very hard to see them. They don’t even look if it is safe to cross the road. They hope the driver will do the looking for them and save their life.

I wish drivers would think for one moment before it’s too late. Think about the people they love, about how much they have to lose, by doing something stupid and irresponsible, while behind the wheel. In one second you can lose everything you have, destroy your life and the life of the person you have hit. Think how devastating it can be.

Therefore, on the road, better to be smart and alive than right and………………..

God save us from ourselves.

 

People who appreciate themselves and value their achievements are blessed. On the other hand, people who are never satisfied with their achievements, and always strive for perfection, usually feel like losers when they do not succeed to reach their goals.

When I was young, I thought it was an advantage to be a perfectionist, something special. When I grew up, I changed my mind, since it becomes more difficult to try to do things flawlessly. I worked harder than anybody else, I payed attention to the very small details, which are not necessarily important, and spent more time on every little thing.

When I had to take an exam, I was always under pressure. What if I could not answer all questions correctly?! On the other hand, my friends kept exams in proportion and I was jealous. I wanted to be like them, but I couldn’t.

I know that it is natural to feel under pressure before and during exams. But you have to let it go when you finish with it. Unfortunately, I thought about it at least a couple of days afterwards and I was disappointed. I recently spoke with someone I know who told me that his need to always be perfect is simply exhausting, and led to a low self-image.

However, from doing some reading about this subject, I understand there are two types of perfectionists. The first is those who aim for excellence and enjoy the process along the way. The second group are those who are obsessive about being perfect, and it runs their life. I consider myself somewhere in the middle.

Anyway, the more I learned and spoke with people about it, I realized that opinions are divided on this. Some people think it is a positive characteristic, as it motivates you to succeed. Others think it is problematic. Since perfectionists have high expectations, when they cannot accomplish their goal, it leads to frustration and a fear to follow their dreams. As well, some have low self-confidence due to their unrealistic expectations.

Perfectionists criticize themselves all the time, and frequently do not know how to cope with compliments. My conclusion is there is no such thing as perfect. Mind you, it is great to have ambitions and goals, as long as you have a healthy perspective.

In my opinion, parents should encourage their children to do their best and to believe in themselves. They should also explain to them that it is OK to be average and make mistakes, because from this position they can always climb up and improve themselves.

One of the toughest challenges for immigrants is the isolation, particularly in the big cities. People leave their home, to start a new life in a strange country.  They leave their relatives and friends behind as well. They have significant difficulty in adapting to the new culture, and this is even harder when they don’t speak the language of their new country.

When I moved to Toronto, I met many immigrants who did not speak English, or spoke very poor English, especially the older ones. I was very curious how come after 10, 20 or 25 years in Canada, they couldn’t speak the language?! Later on I  learned that one of the reasons was since their arrival they were busy surviving.

They took any job they could get, and in general, worked for employers who spoke their language. Also, they were socializing with people from their country of origin, and probably still are. They have difficulty communicating with people from a different background. It was therefore very awkward approaching them.

Unfortunately, they never had the opportunity to learn English, and mostly depended on the younger members of their family for help with banking, the bills, reading documents from the government, and so on.

Furthermore, in the past, immigrants who came to Canada from certain countries, did not have to speak English, and took the citizenship test in their own language. I find this very surprising. To be honest, I don’t understand how the authorities let it go for so long.

I have been living in Toronto now for several years. I know from my own experience that Toronto as any other large city, is a challenging place to live, even if your English skills are pretty good.

However, all this changed a few years ago, and people who wish to move to this country, have to pass a language test either in English or French. In my opinion, it was a great idea to change the law. In this way immigrants would be able to assimilate faster into Canadian society, and feel part of it.

Looking back today, I can say that moving to Canada was not easy at all. There were difficulties to overcome, some of which I still face today, such as the extreme weather, a long and weary winter, gloomy days without sunshine. In addition, for a non-spontaneous person like me, our move to Canada was almost spontaneous.

We did not have much time to get organized. As well, we made quite a few mistakes on the way. Speaking the language of your new country is great, but not enough. Had I only known what I know today……. Oh well……. never mind, we learn from our mistakes……..Canada is our home for better or worse.

With experience comes wisdom.