When I try to imagine life without hope……. I can’t even think about it. It’s impossible. After all, hope is our fuel.

Doctors probably have the hardest job in the world. I’m sure it is not easy for them when they have to inform patients that their illness is terminal. Not only as doctors, but also as human beings. Besides, lets face it, many of them are not skilled at it.

On the other hand, there are quite a few people who emotionally cannot cope with harsh news. Therefore, it is very important and necessary to know how to approach them, as it can be devastating for them. I know this issue is controversial, and many people will probably disagree with me, including my own family. But I think doctors shouldn’t tell their patients that they are dying.

I am not saying there aren’t some advantages to telling a patient the truth about his terminal illness. For example, he might do something he always wanted to do, to say goodbye, get his affairs in order, and yes, he has the right to know. But is this the right decision? Because then the person would be left with the feeling his days are numbered!

The fact is, doctors are not always accurate with their diagnosis. They never really know when patient will die. Anyway, when a doctor decides to inform a patient about his terminal condition, or about an incurable illness, he should involve a trained specialist to assess his emotional condition.

At the same time, there are many stories of people who had severe illnesses or were involved in a serious accident, and recovered against all odds. Those people refused to accept their fate and fought for their lives. One of the stories that is engraved in my memory was about a young man who was badly injured in an accident.

The doctors told his parents he wouldn’t make it through the night. They even suggested the immediate family come to the hospital to say goodbye. But he survived the night, and the next night, and the next……………… He was in a coma for two weeks.

One day he just woke up. He recognized his family almost immediately and communicated with those around him. The joy did not last long, as they realized he couldn’t move his legs and right arm. The doctor’s diagnosis was unequivocal, he would not walk, or have use of his right arm again. But the young man refused to accept it.

He had faith and was determined to fight for a normal life. Encouraged by his loving family, he decided not to give up. He went on a difficult journey towards his recovery. Using all the methods at his disposal in modern and alternative medicine. It was tough, but his stubbornness paid off. He achieved his goal and even more than that. He become an athlete.

Many years ago I read a book “Anatomy of an Illness” written by Norman Cousins, a famous author and journalist. He was diagnosed with a very serious illness, and told he had a small chance to recover. Since I don’t remember all the details, I’ll give you a brief summary. Cousins did some research on human emotions. He believed there is a strong connection between the body and the mind.

Cousins, who was an optimistic person and full of hope, developed a treatment plan to treat his illness. He started by taking large amounts of vitamin C. He watched funny movies and T.V. shows for hours, which reduced the pain for a while, and gave him a couple of painless hours of sleep.

The bottom line, laughter and his positive attitude, replaced painkillers which eventually led to his complete recovery.

Conclusions, firstly, body and soul are one. Secondly, even if it looks like all is lost, having a positive attitude can help tilt the balance in your favor.

He is five years younger than me, my beloved brother. When we were kids he used to follow me around wherever I went. As a child, he was a mischievous and very smart boy. Even then he had an opinion on everything.

When I went to play with my friends, I would beg him not to come with me, but he came anyway. He used to irritate them and run home as quick as a cheetah……. 🙂 and I was left to clean up the mess…………… 🙂 🙂

I still remember like it was yesterday, him running away from kindergarten, close behind him was another student, and chasing both of them was the assistant kindergarten teacher. He was just four years old. The poor woman, who wasn’t so young, developed muscles from chasing after them every single day……… 🙂 🙂

The kindergarten was in the area where we lived. When he was close to the house he started shouting, Mommy……. Mommy……… like a lion was two steps behind him……:-). My Mother came out of the house and asked what’s happened… what’s  happened?….. then she took him back to the school.

It was a regular ritual until he got used to the school. By the way, his two kindergarten teachers taught me as well. There were both sensitive, compassionate and loving, who had a great relationship with the kids and their parents.

Anyway, “that ship has sailed”, the boy became a wonderful man. The kind of person whom you can rely on, someone who you would like to be close by. As well, a devoted son, a loving husband and father, who adores his wife and children.

Five years ago, when my father got sick, he took care of his needs more than anyone else, despite his demanding job. In addition, when my mother needed to have surgery, he arranged for her to be operated on by one of the top specialists in his field. He spent hours on the phone, and personally met with several people. He fought with the bureaucracy to have her operation take place in a specific hospital which wasn’t in the area where she lived.

As for me, he has always been very supportive. I feel there is a truly special relationship between us. When I applied for P.R. he sent me the documents I needed to complete the application.

In the first few years after we moved to Canada, every time we arrived to visit my family, he and his wife would host us for approximately two weeks. Before we arrived, he would buy everything we loved to eat and everything we needed. To save us expenses, his wife used to let us borrow her car.

Well little brother…….. you have so many wonderful qualities. Therefore, I forgive you for following me around when you were four years old……….. :-), annoying my friends and leaving me to deal with the fallout………… 🙂 🙂 🙂

Who wouldn’t want a special  brother like this?!

There are so many advantages to writing. Writing a diary about your life experience or whatever, can lead to positive changes in your life. Sometimes when you put your thoughts down on paper, you suddenly realize something you hadn’t thought of before. As well, writing is creativity that gives freedom to your imagination.

You don’t have to be a professional writer to say what’s on your mind. Likewise, occasionally when a person is under pressure, writing is a way to release some steam. Who among us doesn’t find himself, from time to time, in an argument with someone we love or with a co-worker?!

The first instinct is to give them a piece of our mind. But we don’t want to say something we’ll regret later, even if we are right. Therefore, taking out our frustration in writing, can help. It forces us to take time out and organize our thoughts.

In this way it is easier to resolve differences pleasantly. Besides, the computer or the paper can handle anything you write. As for me, when I decided to open a blog and write about my life experience, among other topics, I was uncomfortable with the idea.

I am a very private person, and am probably the only person on this planet without a Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram account……… 🙂 I’m not used to publishing personal stuff, since sometimes it feels as though I am half naked. Even so, it is kind of liberating.

As well, I read other blogs of people who felt the same as me. I knew I am not alone and I was inspired by them. Also I learned a lot from their experience. Anyway, after I put together the blog, I thought to myself…….who is going to read it except my family, and this will only happen after I twist their arms………. 🙂 🙂

However, writing is a great way for me to express myself. It’s also a way to improve my vocabulary. In the beginning it was little bit hard, since I never kept a diary before. But the more I write, the easier it gets. In addition, I thought there were people  who could relate to my life experience. Maybe it can even help some of them. Who knows?!

Furthermore, I use simple English, this way I can reach more people. I have to say that so far, I really enjoy it. Anyhow, today in the era of social networking, many people are willing to write and share their knowledge and experiences with others.

This is an excellent source of information, as almost everyone has access to it. In short, writing is good for our soul, and another method to get things off our chest.

I experience anxiety. Here I said it out loud and stayed alive. Unfortunately, many people feel ashamed to share their anxieties with others, it is like a red flag. You think you’re the only one who is going through this nightmare. Oh well…….think again.

I was sure I had some defect and nobody can understand what it’s like, but I was wrong, big time. Someone I know once told me, that a lot of people have been taking anti-anxiety pills. I was surprised to hear that as I didn’t know anything about it. Also, in general, I am not in favor of taking pills. Only as a last resort.

Nevertheless, I did some research. I went to the library, read a couple of books, and came to a few conclusions: First, I wasn’t a lunatic…….. Second, there are many people who suffer from anxiety, yet hide it very well. When you look at them you’ll never believe what they are going through inside. They look calm and confident. The last, but the most important thing is, it can be treated, and medication is not the only option.

Still, the symptoms of anxiety are different from person to person. Some people experience severe symptoms, while other have minor symptoms. As for me, I was always more sensitive than others. I worried a little bit too much. But the anxiety came out of the blue.

I was not prepared for it, and I didn’t know how to cope with it at first. Anyhow, one day my husband and I went to visit some family, he was driving and I was sitting next to him, suddenly I felt some unfamiliar fear. In my mind, I was sure we going to have an accident.

I automatically moved my right leg forward, as I was trying to press the brakes. Even though I was sitting in the passenger seat….. I was so embarrassed, although my husband didn’t even notice, since he was concentrating on driving. Anyway, this is how it started. I used to feel that way occasionally. It came and went like a unwelcome guest………

However, I moved to Canada and for a while it was OK. Then I was driving on the highway one day, all of sudden my hand started to sweat, and a sense of fear overwhelmed me. I held the wheel so tight as if something terrible was going to happen.

My hands ached yet I didn’t want to loosen my grip. I wanted to exit off the highway, but my spouse who sat next to me, persuaded me not to do so. I felt this way for approximately one year, not all time, but still pretty often. I have to say usually when something frightens me, I do not avoid it, I confront it.

But, in order to continue driving in Canada, I had to get a Canadian driver’s license. I was not sure I would make it. But despite my anxieties, I successfully passed the tests. I kept driving on the highway, with the encouragement of the my love of my life 🙂

Before every trip on the highway, and sometimes even while driving, I suffered from stomach aches. At the same time, I began to meditate. I started with 20 minutes a day. At first it was a little bit hard to concentrate, but over time it has improved. I felt better after a few days of meditating. The more I persisted, the better I felt. Then I knew I found the right formula. Thank God I got back control of my life.

Finally, I must say, from my experience, if anxiety is not treated as soon as possible, it gets worse and reduces your quality of life. In addition, some people can develop depression.

Something very important to keep in mind is this: although meditation is great  for our soul and for relaxation, it does not help everyone, and sometimes medication is necessary.

 

 

 

 

If there is something that really bothers me, it’s when some people treat others with disrespect and contempt, just because they have money and status. I had a bad experience when I went to an interview in one of the big grocery stores in Toronto.

Since I was shopping in this store pretty often, I saw a sign at the entrance that there are openings for full time and part time jobs.

I called the store and said that I never worked in a grocery store before. I asked if I could apply anyway, and the answer was yes.

I went to the store and grabbed an application, I filled it out and applied for a part time job. I clearly indicated my availability (both days and hours), and submitted it the next day.

I didn’t work since I moved to Canada (approximately 8 years ago). Before that I  worked for a big accounting firm for over 20 years. When I saw the note in the store, I thought to myself well……it is probably not what I want to do for a living (when I grow up….. :-), but it is a start and maybe it will give me the opportunity to be interviewed for the first time in Canada, and maybe I’ll have a part-time job.

I received a phone call from the store a couple of days after I submitted my application, and was invited for an interview the next day.

The day of the interview was one of the warmest and most humid days. By the time I arrived to the office floor, I was sweating and felt I am going to melt, like a jellyfish in the sun :-). I desperately needed some cold water, and was sure I would find a cold water dispenser, in the office of the one of the biggest grocery stores in Toronto. But they didn’t have one, and no one offered me a glass of water.

When I arrived, I was asked to sit in the hall and wait. 15 minutes later I was pointed by the secretary, to the office I was supposed to be interviewed in. I went inside and saw a man with an unpleasant look on his face, he pointed to the chair in front of him. He barely looked at me.

I sat uncomfortably, the light in the room was little bit dim. I felt like I was sitting in an interrogation room.

The man who owns the store (I found this out later) did not introduce himself, which surprised me. He was holding my resume and asked “are you here for full time or part time?” I said “for part time” and he said “why didn’t you write the availability days and hours in the application?” I said, “I did!”

You would think that before you have an interview, the interviewer would spend a minute of his time and read your resume and the application, but this is probably too much to ask.

However, he glanced at the application and said, “you’re available just in the mornings” (obviously he didn’t read what was written there), I said “no I didn’t write just mornings” and started to say, “I was available every Sunday until closing time”, but he cut me off and didn’t let me finish the sentence. He said “no no no the store is open until 10pm and it is shift work”.

I was speechless, I froze, he was so rude. Although I clearly mentioned my schedule, I was called for an interview just to be told, my availability wasn’t good enough.

I looked at this arrogant man and asked for my resume back. I was so frustrated. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind. Then I thought…… I should not waste my time any more than I already did.

I just picked up my stuff and left the room quietly.

Basically, even though you apply for part-time, they want you to be available for them whenever the store is open. On the other hand, they have no obligation whatsoever to give you any hours.

Anyway, thank God I don’t have to work for someone like him who probably thinks that the sun shines from his ass…… :-). I hope I’ll never see his face again.

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately, the older a person gets, the harder it is for them to integrate into the labor market. I don’t know if it’s my imagination, or everyone these days is a resume expert.

Seeking a job is not an easy mission, especially if you are over forty with a lot of experience, and resumes that look more like a memoir than a CV…. 🙂 However there are several ways to do so.

Some people are more determined than others. They believe that the chances are better to find a job by going from company to company and introducing themselves personally. Occasionally they get an opportunity to meet the hiring manager.

I think that’s an excellent way to find a job faster. I’ve heard stories from people who were hired on the spot. I wish I had the courage to look for one that way. Anther way is to make use of connections with business people you know who are influential.

As well, many unemployed are assisted by placement agencies, or a career counselor, which is great. Nevertheless, often well meaning acquaintances or placement agencies tell you that you should change or upgrade your resume, even though it is up to date and perfectly represents you. I believe they just want to help and are even willing do it for you.

In many cases, job seekers go to more than one agency, therefore their CV varies accordingly. Sometimes one can’t recognize themselves in their CV and think who does this resume belong to……………?! You have a degree in English literature, and after you visit some of these resume counselors, you find out you have a PhD in nuclear  physics……….. 🙂 🙂 🙂  I don’t understand why professionals and other spend so much time tweaking our resume.

Anyway, these days when people send their resume by email, it goes directly to a computer. Usually it is thrown into the trash or recycled, without even getting a glance by people who think they are immune from losing their job and will never be in this situation.

I personally don’t let anybody change my resume anymore as it doesn’t help much. What really helps is when you have a contact within the company who can put in a good word for you with the person who is doing the hiring.

In the end, a person will be evaluated according the quality and efficiency of their work, and not as much by the contents of the CV.

 

Life is unpredictable. We have no way of knowing what will be tomorrow or in the future. It is therefore very important to lovingly embrace the people who are dear to us. Briefly, when you love somebody let it show, and make it clear they can count on you.

In my opinion, being surrounded by a loving and devoted family is like winning the lottery. Those among us who have a supportive family that stands by them in difficult times are fortunate.

However, my husband and I recently went to the hospital to visit his distant relative. Since this relative has been sick for a while, we go to see him frequently. Unfortunately, according to the doctors, his situation is terminal.

Anyway, I can’t explain why when we went to see him the last time, I felt different. I couldn’t get it out of my mind, maybe because……… this time I focused on his wife’s sorrow. She looked lost. This woman, who is usually a very strong person, suddenly looked fragile.

His wife has put her life on hold. She hardly leaves his side. In a small and gloomy room with almost no light coming in, she takes care of him with love and devotion. He was restlessly lying in bed and she gently pats his face. It was very touching, and my heart went out to her.

Many times when people go through a severe crisis, they surprisingly manage to overcome huge difficulties against all odds, due to the support of family and close friends.

I used to know someone who lost all his assets because of mismanagement. When his family and close friends found out he was in deep financial trouble, they tried to convince him to sell the business as soon as possible. They thought this way he could at least get his investment back, and pay his debts before it’s too late.

Anyhow, the guy insisted that he can save the business and even make it profitable, but it didn’t work out. He kept losing money, and at some point, he had to sell his house since he had no savings left, and the bank refused his request for a loan. He saw all his dreams dissolve before his eyes.

This man, who was independent from a very young age, had to move to his parents house and live at their expense. At the same time, his family and some of his closest friends, that weren’t well off, collected money to help him to settle his obligations and get back on his feet again.

Keep smiling, keep shining……….that’s what family and true friends are for…………

It is generally not easy to immigrate to another country, especially when you move from a warm country where the sun shines every day even in winter, to a country that has almost six months of winter. In addition, you may not see the sun for three or four days in a row.

Canada is a great country in a lot of ways. Most of the people are friendly and polite. When we decided to move to Canada, I thought it would be a challenge for me. I worked in one place for many years and I felt it was time for a change.

Since my husband is Canadian, I was sure that everything would go smoothly in Canada. I knew it would take time until I start working again, but I wasn’t prepared to retire so young……

Leaving a place where you lived all your life and starting from the scratch, is so hard and I don’t think I was ready for it. I left my precious family, my work, and my friends behind, for the adventure. I packed up my life and moved.

We arrived in Toronto in May, and the weather was excellent. I really loved it. I started the process of obtaining my permanent residence few days after we arrived. At the same time, I went to explore the city.

My spouse wanted us to be prepared for the winter, so he took us to buy coats and good boots, which I really appreciated later on.

The winter started the end of November, and snow began to fall. For someone who never saw snow in her life, it was absolutely beautiful. The city was covered in white and it looked so romantic. Although the temperature dropped below zero, I was hiking almost every day and even enjoyed it.

The snow didn’t stop for months and it was much much colder. It was uncomfortable going out because I had to put on so many clothes, which limited my movement. I looked clumsy and felt like a bear….. When I went out I walked slowly as if I was walking on eggs.

It was even harder walking on ice. I lost my balance and fell several times. I remember once, I walked through the park and I didn’t pay attention there was ice on the pavement. I stepped on it, flew in the air like Superman…….. 🙂 and landed on my behind.

No one was around and there was ice all over. I tried to get up but I couldn’t. I had nothing to hold on to, I was laughing and laughing……. 🙂 🙂 despite the pain I felt. However, I just slid on my behind until I reached a safe place, and picked myself up.

Another time, I was walking to the bus stop, listening to music enjoying myself. A few meters before I got to the bus stop, I walked on a patch of ice again and slid directly to the stop. I felt so embarrassed.

Some of the people who were waiting for the bus started to laugh, while others helped me to stand on my feet.  Anyway, I thought to myself………oh well……at least I got to the bus stop faster.

Nevertheless, you’d think that after eight years of living in Canada, I would be used to the extreme weather. But it did not happen so far and I doubt it will.

 

Most of the people who wish to emigrate to a new country, start the process in their own country. I did not do that, I did it backwards. First I came to Canada as a visitor, and then I applied for permanent residence.

When we arrived in Toronto we were sure I would need an immigration lawyer. I started to look for one on the internet. While I was doing some research, I read about JIAS, a non-profit organization which helps immigrants.

They offer all kinds of services, and one of them is immigration advice which suited me very well at the time. But since it was free, I thought I should be cautious and look for another alternative as well, in case it won’t work out. Besides, most of the time you get what you pay for……..

I called JIAS and spoke with a nice lady. I explained my situation and made an appointment with an immigration consultant. My husband and I went to see the immigration advisor who was very pleasant. We met with her for approximately two hours, and she patiently and professionally explained to us about the procedure to apply for permanent residence.

We were asked to bring a variety of documents for our next meeting, including proof of our marriage (since my spouse is Canadian). It took us approximately six weeks to gather all the documents. For a certain period of time, we had many expenses without any income.

I had to pay for my own health insurance for at least ten months, until I received my Canadian health card. I was very happy that the consultation was free because the rest wasn’t cheap.

I submitted my application less than two months after our arrival. In the meantime, I was offered an English as a second language course by JIAS, to improve my English. I was delighted. I thought this is a great opportunity to make new friends. Besides, I love interacting with people, and my spoken English was pretty good.

Another service that we got from JIAS was the completion of income tax returns for two years at no cost. Mind you, you have to be below a certain income level in order to qualify. Anyway, I am not sure they are offering this service anymore.

Furthermore, I remember while I waited for my P.R, my authorized stay expired and my advisor sent a letter to the Ministry of Immigration on my behalf, which explained my situation. I had to pay $75 to extend my stay, which they refunded after I received my P.R.

I received my P.R nearly five months after I submitted the application. I was pleased as it was faster than I thought it would be.

I got excellent service from JIAS and especially from the counselor. God bless her.

A new chapter has begun.