Joe wasn’t enthusiastic about going back to school. But he knew he had to complete at least a bachelor’s degree to move forward with his studies. Joe couldn’t stop thinking about his mother since he went back to Vancouver. He didn’t have a clue that her situation was so bad as she didn’t tell him or anybody else for that matter. Still he felt guilty that he wasn’t with her when she needed him the most.
Anyway, Joe finished his bachelor’s degree and started taking a few courses at university until he figured out what his next steps would be. His relationship with his Aunt Sheila and her family became closer. He would go over to her house on weekends and holidays. He would spend time with her children despite the fact that they were much younger than him. He felt as though he was a big brother to them.
Joe and Sheila were not only relatives, but also good friends. He would consult with her about all kinds of things as her opinion was very important to him. Because of the special relationship he had with his Aunt, Joe thought that if he needed any help, she would always be there for him. This thought reassured him.
While Joe was taking courses at university, he gave private math lessons to children. Although he made good money from them it wasn’t enough for all the expenses he had. Thus, he was looking for a part time job that he could integrate with his studies. But he didn’t find one, instead he found a full time job at an import export company. He was offered a high salary and good benefits as well.
Joe debated with himself for days as he did not want to leave university. On the other hand, he had no financial backing and if he wished to achieve something in his life he should by no means reject this job.
He therefore decided to accept the offer and leave his studies. He thought it was a one time offer for someone who didn’t have any experience. He also thought about the future and the opportunity he had to grow with the company. When Joe started working at the company he realized that most of the employees were young and ambitious like he was, which he liked.
Anyhow, approximately a month later he acknowledged how demanding his job was. Additionally, he quickly understood he could not have his cake and eat it too. Meaning he could not keep all his students and work full time. Unfortunately he had to discontinue teaching many of his students.
Working at the new job changed Joe’s lifestyle. He moved to a larger apartment in a good neighborhood. As well he bought a new car and lived a comfortable life. Joe wanted his younger brother to come and live with him after he finished high school. It wasn’t easy to persuade him but in the end he agreed to make the move. Joe was happy with his life. He was even happier that his brother was living with him and attending university. In addition, he had a girlfriend he loved and felt that things were finally falling into place.
One day after two years working with the company the owner asked to meet with him. Joe was sure his boss wanted to talk with him about a promotion as he kept telling him how pleased he was with his work. But when he went to see him, his boss did not speak about a promotion or anything he wished for. In fact, he told him he was letting him go……. Joe was in shock……
He thought it was a misunderstanding. At first he was speechless for a few minutes. The words that were said just went over his head. How could this be?…… He liked working there. The salary was excellent and the atmosphere as well. When he got ahold of himself, he heard his employer say that the company had run into difficulties. Consequently, he had to let quite a few of his best employees go.
Joe had not yet digested the bad news he received when he was told he had to leave the building in one hour. Likewise he was told he would be paid an additional two weeks salary. When he arrived home that day, he felt sick as all his dreams went up in smoke. He thanked God that his brother was at university because he needed to organize his thoughts.
When his brother came home that afternoon, he couldn’t bring himself to tell him that he had been fired, as his brother relies on him. However, in addition to the two weeks payment, Joe received compensation of two months salary. With two years experience at an import export company, and excellent references, Joe hoped he would find a job in the field as soon as possible…….
Joe grew up in Edmonton Alberta which is known for having cold winters. He had a very happy childhood. Although his parents frequently had difficulty making a living, they did their best to give him and his younger brother Kevin everything they needed. Many times they had to work more than one job to support the family. But they always did it with love and never complained.
Joe and his family lived nearby his grandparents and his large extended family. He and his cousins would visit their grandparents on a daily basis. They had a lot of fun there. In addition, their grandmother would pamper them with her delicious pastries. When Joe was approximately fifteen his grandparents decided to move to Florida as they couldn’t tolerate the extreme weather anymore. Thus gatherings between Joe and his cousins gradually diminished after they left the country.
Roughly six months after his grandparents moved to Florida, his father got sick. The father suffered from severe pain in his back, and his doctors couldn’t figure out what the problem was. Unfortunately, when the doctors discovered the source of his pain, it was too late for him. He tragically passed away shortly afterwards in his early forties.
Joe and his family were devastated by his father’s untimely death. Joe and his brother were teenagers at the time. They were very attached to their father and had a hard time coping with the loss. Joe’s mother had a difficult time as well as she did not just lose the love of her life, but also her best friend. She and her husband started dating when they were sixteen, and got married when they were twenty.
She felt lonely after the tragedy. Her family did not live in Edmonton, and her in-laws, who she had a close relationship with, didn’t live there anymore. Furthermore, she wasn’t an outgoing person. As a result, she sunk into a depression for a long time which greatly affected her children. Despite her health condition, she encouraged her sons to socialize more with their friends.
Three years after Joe’s father passed away, his mother suffered from leg pain. She took all kinds of pain killers as though they were candy. Yet, it didn’t reduce the pain. In fact, it only got worse. Joe’s mother did not tell her sons what she was going through and did not see her doctor either. Joe was studying at that time at the University of British Columbia that is located on the southwestern coast of Vancouver where his beloved Aunt lives.
He agreed to study there after his mother convinced him that the change would be good for him. She wanted him to go on with his life and not worry about her. Besides, she knew her sister would be there for him. Anyway, in the first summer break, Joe went to see his mother. He planned to work for a while at the local pizzeria to make some money and travel with his friends to Seattle. But as soon as he got home he knew something was wrong.
He did not need more than one look at his mother who was sitting on the couch pale and thin, to know her condition was quite serious. Joe asked his mother how she felt. She said she had pain all over her body for quite some time now. When Joe asked her why didn’t she tell him about her pain, she did not answer him. Joe felt like the sky fell on his head. He said to God “please not again.” ……. He called an ambulance to take her to the hospital that same day. Sadly his worse fears came true. Apparently, she had the same illness as her husband……
The doctor at the hospital asked Joe if his parent were relatives. The doctor was stunned when Joe said they weren’t. He said this was extremely unusual that a couple who were not blood relatives would have the same rare disease. He added in the same breath that unfortunately there was nothing they could do for her. A week and a half later, in her mid forties, she was gone.
Needless to say, her death came as a shock to everyone. Joe and Kevin faced a challenging time. If his mother’s death wasn’t enough, Joe had to take care of his brother who was a minor at the time. Joe was three years older than his brother and he did not want to leave him by himself. He wanted his younger brother to move to Vancouver with him. But Kevin didn’t agree to move. He was stubborn and wanted to stay in his comfort zone where his friends were.
After the tragedy that befell the family, Joe couldn’t go back to Vancouver. He decided to take some time off from University. He had to find a solution for his brother. In addition, he needed to take care of all kinds of things that his mother couldn’t deal with due to her illness. Joe’s relatives, who wanted to help, suggested that Kevin move in with them, which was acceptable to him and his brother. Later on, Joe went back to university for the next semester……..
Some people say that when you marry someone you marry his family as well. I am not sure that this is always correct but there is some truth to it. Therefore you have to be really careful who you get married to.
A friend of mine told me about her unbearable father-in-law. She said that shortly after she started dating her future husband, he mentioned his father and said he was a pain in the neck. As a child, he didn’t like to invite friends over as his father would embarrass him.
The father is a sarcastic person who likes to criticize everyone including children. He uses sarcasm on purpose to make everybody else look stupid as he thinks it makes him look smarter. The father used to have a clothing business, which had a high employee turnover rate due to his behaviour. The employees did not last more than a few months because of him.
When there was a family event, his wife was frequently asked to come alone as nobody wanted to be around her husband. Anyhow, when the son would invite friends over, he would regret it afterwards. Although many years have passed since he was a child, he still couldn’t forget how his father used to insult his friends. He liked to mock them and would ask them in a polite way all kinds of history or math questions which he knew they couldn’t answer.
He would embarrass them and sometimes bring them to tears. Then he would say they didn’t understand that he was just joking with them…….. However, before my friend was introduced to her in-laws, her future husband warned her about his father. My friend, who is a tough cookie herself, laughed and said she could eat two of him for breakfast.
But when she met the man, she realized he is a toxic and unpleasant person, compared to his wife who is the complete opposite of him. She also understood why it took her fiance so long to introduce her to his parents. The very first time he met her the father hinted to her she needed to lose some weight.
My friend struggled with her weight all her life. Therefore, it is a very sensitive issue for her. And this dummy insulted her in front of his family. Anyway, when his wife noticed she was offended, she whispered to him that he should apologize. He refused and said he was just pointing out a fact……..
My friend was offended by him many times. He tried to put her down because she is much smarter than he is. Still, she got married with his son as he is a wonderful person. Over the years, with the support of her spouse, she learned how to put him in his place. In addition, she made it clear to him he wasn’t welcome in her house, nor would he see his grandchildren, as long as he continued to insult her.
It took a while to teach him a lesson. His son refused to speak with him for a long time, unless he went for treatment. He did and it helped him a great deal. Although, he wasn’t nearly as sarcastic with his family as before, he still made cutting remarks towards others. I asked my friend how his wife and the rest of his children dealt with him all these years. She said he wouldn’t dare be a smart ass with his wife as she wouldn’t tolerate it. As for his daughters, most of the time they would bite back with sarcasm, and sometimes they would ignore him altogether. This is the way they got him off their backs.
Sarcastic people frequently irritate the hell out of those who do not understand their jokes. They like to say the exact opposite of what they mean. Most of the time you can tell when someone is being sarcastic by his tone of voice and body language. Some say being sarcastic is an emotional tool to shield your feelings. Others say sarcastic people are more creative than others. They also said that they are intelligent and have a sophisticated sense of humour which is hard to interpret.
On the other hand, there are those who say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. There is no doubt in my mind that some sarcastic people derive pleasure from bullying others and try to belittle them by using sarcasm. However, many times sarcasm is designed as humour. The person is constantly sarcastic about himself and others as well by using subtle sarcasm. He is likely unaware his behaviour is harmful to others.
Anyway, I had two sarcastic friends who were lots of fun to be around. I enjoyed their company. Despite the fact that sometimes they were sarcastic with me, I wasn’t offended but I would give it back to them anyway and we would laugh about it afterwards.
I like to watch well written TV series that employs sarcasm as part of the dialogue. For example, House and Friends. Dr. House had a biting sense of sarcasm. While Chandler from Friends used a more gentle sarcasm, and in my opinion, he had the best part in the sitcom. Both series used sarcasm in a clever way and the writers deserve the majority of the credit.
Nevertheless, if somebody is leaching on your self esteem, and tries to bring you down, you can deal with it by not acknowledging the sarcasm. Another approach is to immediately make it clear to them in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate them speaking to you this way. The other option is to give them a taste of their own medicine. Use sarcasm when you speak with them, and see how they like it…….
Sadly too many selfish people ignore Covid19 restrictions. As a result they prevent us from flatting the curve. Large gatherings such as parties and sporting events have been banned by the authorities. However, despite strict government regulations against holding such events, people have been constantly breaking the rules and keep attending large functions. This lead to dozens of people becoming infected.
There are many documented big weddings, dinner parties, etc that were held not only in Canada, but also in the U.S and Europe as well. This forces the government to tighten restrictions which postpones the re-opening of the economy and causes quite a few people to lose their livelihood.
So far the ones most affected by the situation are those working in the travel industry, the hospitality industry, and retail. They have been hit hard by the economic downturn. I remember driving past a recently closed Starbucks. I was shocked because this particular location was always busy. My friends and I would go there all the time. We could rarely find empty seats whenever we went. As well, there is a long list of retailers that I know of who have either closed stores or have gone out of business altogether. Who knows when and if those jobs will come back.
Nevertheless, the Canadian government has offered to subsidize the salaries of employees if the employer shows a loss of income, and as long as the business keeps running. They have also expanded unemployment benefits. Thank God for that. I don’t know how long this program will last as they keep extending it. But the problem is when a place goes out of business. You can collect unemployment insurance, which only covers part of your salary. However, the extended health benefits such as drug and dental coverage can be cancelled and this is a huge problem, as the employee has to pay those expenses out of his pocket.
Anyway, in the short term the programs the government put in place have kept the economy from collapsing, which is vital. Everyone needs the economy to totally open up and grow again. Although the positive steps taken by the government have helped millions of people, still the unemployment rate is far too high.
I doubt anything is going to change anytime soon. Unless people stop blaming the government and start taking responsibility for their behavior. People need to understand that a lack of consideration for others on their part has dire consequences. In addition, they have to acknowledge that all of us are in the same boat. We are going through a tough time. We are all sick and tired of wearing masks, keeping a distance from others, not taking vacations, etc. Besides, our only pastime lately is going to the grocery store…… 😦 Yet that definitely does not give anyone the right to put the entire community at risk.
The lack of discipline among certain members of the public also causes anxiety within the elderly and people suffering from illness, who are the most vulnerable in the population. They are afraid to go out and be around people which leads to their isolation and mental health issues. Basically they lost their freedom…… 😦 For God’s sake, can’t those selfish people at least think about them.
I read online there was a wedding recently held in a city close to Toronto. Of the 150 people in attendance, almost 50 of them were infected with the virus. Can you imagine, a third of them fell sick……
Since the epidemic became part of our life, you hear more stories about people that can’t support their families on a daily basis. Some of them are really desperate as they have no money even for basic things like food and medicine. Unfortunately their distress leads them to do almost anything to earn some money.
The other day I read an article about a woman who lost her job a few months ago. She is a single mother. She spent all of her savings and doesn’t have money for basic necessities. She published a post on Facebook that she is willing to sell one of her kidneys just to put food on the table.
Her post touched many people and she received several offers of help in a very short period of time. People were offering her money which she declined. She said that she isn’t asking for donations but was looking for a job. In addition, she received a few offers for her kidney (which, by the way, is illegal). I have no idea what happened with her but I am sure that there are quite a few others out there in the same situation… 😦
Speaking to the heart of the matter, I think in general most people are disciplined or at least try hard to follow the Covid19 rules. Still there is a small group of problematic people that completely disregard the reality in which we live today. Therefore, we all pay the price.
In my opinion, it is time that the authorities take off the gloves and punish hard those who ignore the Covid19 regulations. There should be significant fines against the violators. Another option is to let them spend some time in prison. Maybe this way they’ll understand what it’s like to lose their freedom…….
It is almost the end of the year and Covid is still very much with us. Although according to the news the vaccine is in sight, it is still impossible to know when it will be ready and will it be safe. In addition, nobody knows if it will provide people with long term infection protection.
Usually the development of a vaccine can take years. It is a long process. But because of the impact of the Coronavirus on the world economy, and the damage it has already caused, the vaccine development process seems to be accelerating. In the meantime, the number of people infected is rising again. Countries all over the world are talking about a second closure and right now you don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Winter is not that far away which will restrict us even more, especially in Canada. I know it sounds awful and depressing. But you may be surprised to hear that there are people who have said that this period is the best time of their lives. Confused? …….Me too! People are literally reinventing themselves. Here are some examples:
Face mask makers. The demand for masks will remain very high because people around the world might need to wear them for a long time. Many people who lost their jobs or were laid off due to Covid discovered the potential that lies in making masks. Apparently, quite a few of them are doing very well for themselves. I even know someone who makes a living from making masks at home.
Virtual baby sitter. People who keep children company or help them with homework. I have to say that this sounds a little bit weird. I don’t know which parents would be comfortable leaving their children with someone babysitting by remote control. Here is another thing to consider. What if, God forbid, the kid decides to just go out and leave the house? Then what do you do?
Temperature Screener. You can see those people everywhere. They take your temperature and also ask for your name and telephone number. I have a feeling that pretty soon those people will be replaced by automatic temperature scans at entrances. And this will probably be part of our new life at least for a while……
Contact tracers. This job is to call people who may have been exposed to Covid 19. Get information from them about where they have been and who they were in contact with. In addition, assist them with setting up appointments for testing. By the way, I read that a high percentage of people lie about who they were in contact with. People feel their privacy has been invaded when asked this question. Unfortunately, this is necessary to prevent the spread of the virus.
Zoom support specialists. Mind you video conferencing was invented many years ago and was used mainly for business purposes. But since Covid came along, it’s use has exploded. However, Zoom specialists set up the software for weddings, business meetings, family and friends meetings, etc…… They also show you how to use it. Let’s see them try to explain to my 95 year old aunt how to use it as she is still struggling with her flip phone 🙂 🙂 Good luck buddy…….
Disinfecting and sanitizing offices, homes, etc….. Wow, this is exactly what some people I know need, someone who disinfects and sanitizes their apartment on a full time basis. This way cockroaches will stay away from their apartment…….. 😦
Plexiglass screen installer. They install plastic dividers at offices, grocery stores, restaurants, you name it. I find it a very effective and important thing, without any connection to Covid. There are people who spit on you like an Alpaca when they talk….. 🙂 🙂 Therefore, this barrier protects you from getting a shower after you already took one 🙂 I wish they would leave these barriers in place even after Covid disappears.
People who modify layouts of offices, stores, etc, to facilitate social distancing. These people take their jobs seriously, believe me I know….. My poor friend was moved from her very comfortable location near a window overlooking a park, to a spot next to the bathroom which she found too noisy and frequently even stinky… 😦 When she complained, she was told the only other space available for her was on the roof of the building……..
Anyway, due to the Coronavirus, I became my husband’s hair stylist, even though I do not have the slightest talent for it. After I cut his hair, my poor husband wears a hat for a couple of weeks to hide the damage 🙂 and until his hair grows a bit. Every time I looked at my creation I said “who is the clown who cut your hair?!” But I have to say that the more I practice, the better I get. I am even considering doing it as a full time job :-):-)
Well, what can I say, after all there are some positive sides to this epidemic. One of them is that many people are making lemonade out of lemons, which is wonderful……
Who likes to be around bitter and unfriendly or self-centered people? Nobody! Everyone would like to be surrounded only by people with a good sense of humor and attentive to others as well. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work this way. In general, normal people have a balanced behavior. Once in a while you can be angry, unpleasant, critical, or self-centered, and I think this is part of life. But when a person is overly problematic, nobody wishes to be around them, including their own family.
Self-centered people are able to be pleasant and kind upon meeting new people, which is why they are hard to spot. Usually you discover their true colors after you spend quite a lot of time with them. There are various levels of self-centeredness, and I have had the pleasure of meeting people from almost every level……
Approximately 7 years ago I met some lady at a lecture I attended. She moved to Canada many years before I did and we had some things in common. I liked her as I thought she was an outgoing person. We frequently went out for coffee and she would give me a variety of helpful tips from her experience as an immigrant. She even tried to help me find a job once.
At the beginning, I didn’t notice she liked to speak about herself and her family a lot. I am a curious person and she grew up in a different culture than mine which I thought was very interesting. Thus, I liked listening to her stories about her culture. Then I realized that every time I tried to say something that was important to me, she wasn’t paying attention or she would change the subject.
In addition, every time she had a problem at work, she would call me. It didn’t matter when and she never asked if I was available to listen to her monologue……. She talked non-stop for hours without taking time to catch her breath. She didn’t let me get in a word edgewise. I could put the phone on the table and come back half an hour later and she would still be talking.
I told her more than once she doesn’t know how to listen and that she needs to be more attentive. Instead of appreciating my sincerity, she denied she had a problem and nothing ever changed. After two years of friendship I was fed up with being her psychologist so I decided I would put an end to it.
Here’s another story about a toxic person who can bring anybody down. My husband has an acquaintance who always looks angry. The first time I met her, I thought she was going through a hard time. My heart went out to her. She complained about her children and grandchildren, about the people she worked with, you name it, while her husband rolled his eyes.
She said her children and grandchildren rarely came to visit and she doesn’t have any friends. I just moved to Canada at the time. Although she was old enough to be my mother, I thought it would be nice if I would occasionally meet her for coffee. But I soon realized the woman is angry at the world. I almost never saw her smiling , not even from a joke that made everybody else laugh. She would sit with a frozen face (maybe it was due to having too much Botox…..I don’t know…..), was negative and always blamed others for her problems.
I also noticed she doesn’t compliment or congratulate anyone. Furthermore, she is very self-centered. She never listens or asks us any questions even when she knew my father was very sick. This woman talks only about herself and most of the time she looks stern and miserable. She therefore drives people away from her. Although she isn’t a pleasant person to be around, we would visit her and her husband from time to time.
In addition, my husband would call her on holidays or just to ask her how she was doing. On the other hand, she never called us unless she needed something. The funny thing is she complains that we are not in touch with her enough. When my spouse told her she could also pick up the phone sometimes, she gave him a ridiculous answer. She said we should keep in touch with her and not the other way around, as she is older than us…… Well, with such an attitude it is no wonder people walk away from her.
Still there is something surprising about this woman. Although she is such a negative and bitter person, she has a few positive characteristics. She loves her husband and is very devoted to him. He is the only one she never criticizes. It was touching to see how she treated him when he was in the hospital. She did not leave his side until he recovered and was discharged.
Yet, I never came across a person who has so many negative traits. Nobody is perfect and there are quite a number of people out there who are unpleasant to be around. But she takes the cake…. In my opinion, when someone drains your energy, you must get away from them. It doesn’t matter who they are, you have to cut off contact with them….
Stinginess can sometimes be genetic, but it can also be a learned trait or something that develops over time. Most people have to be careful with their money and this does not make them stingy. Furthermore,It turns out that people who are struggling financially to finish the month are more likely to be generous than wealthy people.
My husband had neighbours before we got married who did very well for themselves. However, they were very stingy. The husband Rick, is a lawyer and a co-founder of a medium sized law firm. His wife Cheryl is a physiotherapist and had her own clinic. They lived in a small townhouse in a average area, even though they could afford something much larger and ostentatious in an exclusive neighbourhood.
The family lived quite modestly, which is perfectly fine. They didn’t go on large shopping sprees for new clothes every few weeks. As well, they had an old TV and old appliances. So far everything sounds normal right?! Here is the but…., they didn’t like to spend money on clothes, and wore the same clothes until they were worn out. They would drive cheap cars. In fact, they only had one car that the entire family shared. They used to say they were doing their best to fight air pollution by driving just one car. Still, this didn’t stop them for regularly asking my husband if they could borrow his car or if he could give one of them a lift to work or somewhere else……… :-):-):-)
They could afford to take expensive vacations anywhere in the world, but they never did. Instead, they would spend a week or two in the summer at his parent’s cottage at a nearby lake.
They used to knock on the doors of their neighbours and ask if they could have basic things like food, cigarettes, paper towels, laundry detergent, etc. They were never too shy to ask, yet they never returned the favour.
Something else that drove my husband crazy was they would always ask him to buy things for them at the grocery store as this would save them a trip. They knew his shopping schedule and used to say they never had time to go to the store. To some extent, this makes sense. But when he would ask to be paid back, they never had any cash on them. No matter how many times they said they’d pay him back by the end of the week, it never happened.
Rick and Cheryl would spend hours looking for coupons and discounts, and would proudly say they never bought anything at full price. My husband would tell them they are spending too much time on their “research,” and that they didn’t end up saving much money anyway. Rick would always say it was a hobby for him and he never really took it too seriously. But everyone around him knew that although he tried to make light of it, and say he was only having fun, he was very serious about keeping as much money in his pocket as possible……. 🙂 🙂
Rick and Cheryl’s children complained all the time to anyone who would listen at how cheap their parents were. They always had to work during the summer breaks to pay for their cellphones, designer clothes, or pay for their trips out of town with their friends.
Rick always complained how much he had to pay his employees, and how generous he was with them. At Christmas time, he would always give his employees the cheapest present he could find or gifts that did not cost him anything.
Here is a great example. Rick’s clients would bring him all kinds of presents at holiday time. His office would be full of goodies such as chocolates, food baskets, bottles of alcohol and wine, etc. He saw these gifts as an opportunity to save money on buying end of the year presents for his employees. Also for friends and relatives who invited them for the holidays. He would put together small gift baskets and hand them out to everyone working in the office. Rick would always say how happy he was to recycle his gifts and save money.
Another example, they would turn off the lights on the main floor of the house on Halloween and watch TV in the basement. The kids in the neighbourhood thought that because the lights were off, there was no one home. This way they didn’t have to spend money on candy for the kids who would knock on their front door. 😦 😦
People would also mention how he would conveniently disappear from the table when the waiter delivered the bill for a meal. By the way did I mention that Rick came from a well to do family, and were well known in the city?! Anyway, Rick had some good qualities as well. He was a very likeable guy with a good sense of humour, and a fun person to be around. However, my husband could never understand why he behaved this way.
He used to tease Rick all the time and ask him “why are you such a cheapskate? It’s not very nice you know?! Both you and Cheryl are working full time in good professions, and are both earning a good living, what’s the matter with you?” Rick would always flash a huge smile, start laughing and say” Oh come on man, you know how I am. I just don’t like spending money when I don’t have to.”…….. 🙂 🙂
Stinginess is one of the most negative personality traits. Some people say if you count your pennies, you hoard your affection as well. A miser can live like a beggar. Many times he deprives himself and his family of life’s pleasures while hoarding money.
A few years ago I read an article about an older man who lived by himself. He would wear torn and dirty clothes. He would search for food in the garbage. He lived in a neglected basement apartment, which was laden with all kinds of junk he collected from the street. Well meaning people would bring him food and he received welfare. His landlord could barely collect the rent from him. As much as he wanted him out of his basement, he felt sorry for him and let him stay.
Anyway, one day the old man died. The neighbours fund raised for his funeral. The landlord brought some people to clean the apartment. He asked them to throw everything in the garbage, and he also requested they disinfect the entire apartment. When the cleaners lifted the mattress that the elderly man slept on, they were stunned to see what was underneath it. They found several grocery bags full of money.
It turned out the man was a millionaire who lived like he was destitute. By the way, many times the neighbours offered to help him clean his apartment, but he always refused. He never allowed anyone to enter his home, unless it was necessary. After he passed away they understood why……..
Stinginess frequently derives from a deficiency people experienced in childhood. People who grew up in poverty are afraid to experience deprivation in their adult lives. Often they develop financial insecurity and they find it hard to give money to others even to their loved ones. But there are also people whose stinginess is part of their nature. Stingy people like to take more and give less. They will always find a way not to spend money and go to great lengths to save pennies.
Anyway, not too long ago I was standing in a long line up to pay in a grocery store. Usually it takes no more that a few minutes to pay and get out, but this time it took much longer. The store was busy. In addition, one guy came with a pile of flyers for price matches. From where I was standing, I could hear him arguing with the cashier about a product that cost 5 cents more than their competitors. The woman who stood behind him was really annoyed. She said that for the few pennies he saved, he made us wait a long time.
Price matches can save you a lot of money especially when you are making a large purchase. but sometimes it is not worth the amount of time it would take you to save a couple of pennies. But this guy took his time and didn’t care there were 10 people waiting in line behind him. After he left, the cashier said he does it all the time….. Saving money is a good thing particularly when a person has a purpose. But spending so much time and energy just to save a little money doesn’t make any sense.
Stingy people prefer borrowing things from other rather than buying. There is a guy I know who is a good looking man and has a very well paying job. He has been divorced for quite a while. He moved in with his parents after he and his wife separated, and is still living there. He always borrows his parent’s car because he is too cheap to buy his own. When I asked him why he doesn’t buy his own car, his answer was that it is too expensive to keep the car on the road. Besides his parents don’t need the car all the time. He has been looking for Mrs. Perfect and dated many women. Usually they disappear after the second date and he doesn’t understand why…….
He knows he has a problem parting with his money but he doesn’t think it’s a big issue. I once told him women do not like guys that are cheap and if he doesn’t change his ways he would stay single forever. And I was right. By the way, he did not come from a poor background however, stinginess is part of his character.
Likewise, there is something about him that I can’t stand. I sometimes meet him at Starbucks for coffee. He gets there approximately half an hour ahead of me, drinks his coffee and eats his croissant. He pays the bill and waits for me. At first I thought it was just a coincidence and then a light went off in my head. He is afraid that God forbid, he’ll have to pay for my order as well…… Although I am a direct person, I never told him anything as I was embarrassed by his behaviour. Incidentally, he never told me why he divorced, but I have a feeling I know the reason……..
Research indicates that women are more generous than men and are less likely to be stingy. Frankly, I have no idea how any normal person can have a relationship with someone stingy, unless you and your partner have the same character.
When I think about this topic I am reminded of a comedian whose name was Jack Benny. He used to joke a lot about stinginess. He would say “if I can’t take it with me (he was talking about money), I’m not leaving…….” 🙂 🙂 🙂 I have an announcement for all the stingy people; When you leave this world, you can’t take anything with you. 😦 😦 So enjoy life, and don’t be a cheapskate as life is too short………
Detective Moore would hold a press conference for high profile cases. He would keep the public informed during the investigation if necessary, and at the end as well. When he held a press conference on the current case, he took the unusual step of allowing Lianne to say a few words. Lianne implored Tim to come back home. She said their children missed their father. She also asked everyone to leave her family alone, to stop poking around in their private lives, and let them move on.
Anyway, Lianne wished to leave Canada for Los Angeles after the traumatic loss of Marian, and all she and her children went through. Mark, who grew up in L.A. where most of his family was still living, was delighted to hear what she yearned for. He thought it was time to return home. But Lianne couldn’t leave without knowing what was going on with Tim.
Tim showed up approximately one week after Marian’s funeral. Lianne wasn’t surprised to see him. In fact, she was expecting him after his name was cleared. Tim looked gaunt and aged a lot in a short period of time. It was obvious he went through a difficult time. Although her feelings for him had changed, Lianne was happy to see him and hugged him with relief.
Tim was in an isolated area in Brazil up the Amazon River for months. When he went to New York to attend an induction program for those joining Doctors Without Borders, he couldn’t imagine he would find himself in the jungle. However, on the same day he arrived, his lawyer Chris called and informed him that he was accused of sexual exploitation of minors. Chris suggested that he not attend the session and leave New York as soon as possible otherwise he would be arrested by the police.
Chris knew Tim was set up and was willing to help him escape. The lawyer had one condition, Tim should not be in touch with anyone from his family or his friends. Chris was concerned he would lose his law license and would be prosecuted if anybody else found out he helped Tim run away. Tim didn’t like the idea of leaving Lianne and his mother in the dark. On the other hand, he thought it would kill Marian to see her only son behind bars. So he had no choice but to agree.
He joined a couple of married doctors who lived up the Amazon several months a year. The couple were Chris’s aunt and uncle from NY. In the area they lived there was no internet or mobile phone service and he had to travel many miles to have access to communication.
Tim was introduced to Chris a few years before when he was living in Toronto. He went to see him after he was harassed by Mickey. Tim followed Chris’s advice and recorded Mickey’s threats. Fortunately, the lawyer knew almost everybody who worked in the law enforcement field. He also knew quite a few police officers in the London police force, as he grew up in the area. Therefore, he was able to warn Tim not to return to Canada.
Tim was unwilling to sit in jail for even a day for a crime he did not commit. Yet even in his worst dreams, he didn’t think it would have such a strong effect on his mother, as she was a resilient lady. Tim was crying when he spoke about Marian. Lianne never saw him so emotional before. He blamed himself for what happened.
At the same time he was certain his mother was confident in his innocence. Still, she couldn’t live with the injustice done to him. Tim did a lot of thinking while he was in the Amazon. He knew he neglected Lianne and their children and was consumed with guilt. He expressed his desire to be part of his children’s lives which surprised Lianne. He told Lianne she deserves someone better than him.
Tim was unexpectedly open about his sexual orientation. He said he was conflicted for a long time. He was naive enough to think if he got married it would resolve itself, but it didn’t. Over time he realized it was a huge mistake on his part as he was miserable and Lianne was as well. Tim asked for Lianne’s forgiveness as he never intended to mislead her or hurt her feelings.
He said he loved her very much for everything she had done for his mother and him. He added she was also a great mother to their children and will always be a part of his life. All he wanted was for her and their kids to be happy. At that point Lianne told him about Mark and her desire to leave Canada for L.A. Tim was thrilled for her. He said he had no commitment to any particular job at present. Therefore, he would be more than happy to move to L.A. and be close to his children.
Tim was sure he wouldn’t have a problem finding a job anywhere. They were talking all night like never before as best friends. When the sun rose and Tim thought he had enough excitement for one day, the children woke up. They were overjoyed to see their father at home. They ran over and jumped on him even though he hadn’t been a part of their lives for a long time. Tim, who was overwhelmed with the outpouring of love from his children, couldn’t hold back his tears.
Lianne and Mark left for L.A. with their children. Tim followed a few weeks later. He officially came out of the closet and lived the life he longed for……
Apparently the narrative of the “so call minors” that they were seduced by Tim was a hoax. Those young men were 20 years old who looked like they were 15. This was what they did for a living. Generally they targeted a married man from the upper class and would have a short affair with them. Later on they would say to the victim they were minors and show them a fake document as proof. After they made sure the victims were in a state of panic, they blackmailed them. The men usually paid as they were afraid the “adolescents” would file a complaint with the police or go to their spouses………
The young men confessed that the mastermind behind the complaint against Tim was none other than Mickey. He didn’t do it for the money this time, but for revenge. Mickey was in love with Tim who repeatedly rejected him and he couldn’t accept that. They also admitted they didn’t know Tim and had nothing to do with him. The only reason they came to the shelter in the first place was to incriminate him.
Mickey was arrested and the complaint against Tim was dropped. In the meantime, Lianne extended her maternity leave. She didn’t go out very often unless it was necessary. Every time she went out and came across people she knew, they looked at her and her children with pity. It was unbearable for her.
To keep her sanity, she decided to give private piano lessons to children. As she was a gifted and well known pianist, she couldn’t meet the demand. People came from all over London and the surrounding areas for her to teach their kids.
Lianne had a brother who lived in Los Angeles and she planned to move there. But unfortunately Marian was in a bad emotional state. All that she wanted was to stay in bed and be left alone. However, Lianne decided that no matter what, she would not leave her behind.
Nevertheless, Lianne met Mark when he brought his son Ron for piano lessons. They had good chemistry right from the start. Mark was originally from the U.S. and moved to Canada after he married a Canadian woman. His wife Elizabeth was killed in a car accident three years before, and since then he raised his two sons alone. Mark and his children were living in St. Thomas. He worked as a manager in the marketing department of a Toyota plant.
Mark had a hard time coping with his wife’s death. He felt alone as Elizabeth’s family lived in Edmonton. In addition, he never got used to the extreme weather in Canada. For that reason, he wanted to go back to the States. But then he was offered a promotion so he decided to stay a little bit longer. Anyway, Mark was exactly what Lianne needed. He was an attentive and considerate person, totally different from Tim. He was also a great father.
At first, they would talk for hours, like they knew each other all their lives. They soon realized they had a lot in common. Lianne appreciated Mark’s attitude towards her children. He treated them as though they were his own kids. They adored him and every time he brought his son for a piano lesson, they jumped with joy.
Mark was open with his feelings towards Lianne. But her life was a mess and the last thing she wanted was a new relationship. Besides, she was still married and deeply cared about Tim. She also did not want to upset Marian. But the big surprise was that Marian encouraged her to move on with her life………
Nonetheless, one evening after Lianne put her children to sleep someone knocked on the door. When she asked who it was, the answer was the police…….. Lianne was worried……. she opened the door and saw Detective Moore accompanied by a young detective who didn’t look familiar to her.
Before she had any chance to say anything, he smiled and said he had good news for her. Then he told her the charges against Tim were dropped. Lianne was caught off guard. When Detective Moore started to give her more information, she asked him to wait for a moment and ran upstairs to call Marian. Lianne wanted her to hear the good news she looked forward to for a long time.
A few moments later, Detective Moore and his colleague heard Lianne screaming. Apparently, Marian was unresponsive. The police officers immediately called 911. Unfortunately when the paramedics arrived there was nothing left to do but to declare Marian dead. She died from a broken heart……
Lianne was devastated as Marian was like a mother to her. Mark took some time off work to be beside her and support her. He helped organize Marian’s funeral and even babysat the children. Mark loved Lianne like no man loved her before and she knew he was the right one for her.
Marian bequeathed everything she owned to her daughter-in-law and sadly, she didn’t live to hear about her son’s acquittal……
With Experience Comes Wisdom 