Within a few hours, hundreds of civilians joined the police in their search. Some people came with dogs who were specially trained to track missing people. The police deployed drones to search from the air. They also publicized Eli’s picture on TV, in the newspapers, and on social media. They asked the public to be on the alert for a young boy walking alone or with adults who don’t appear to be his parents. They further advised the public to report anything suspicious to them as soon as possible. A local resident who was a wealthy business owner posted a $10,000 reward for information leading to the return of the child.
Eli’s parents went from interview to interview with local and national media outlets. The police informed the parents that the longer the search continued, the less likely it would be that their son would be found alive. When Peter heard this, he broke down crying and blamed himself.
At some point, Cheryl decided she did not want to do any more media interviews. She found them very hard on herself emotionally, plus she and Peter began to get more criticism for being irresponsible parents who failed to protect their son.
After two weeks, the volunteers stopped looking for Eli and went back to living their lives. A few weeks later, the police held a press conference and announced they were suspending the search as they didn’t have any leads. They added that from now on, they would be concentrating on gathering information and following up on any new leads. They said they would investigate all possibilities, including known pedophiles, in the hope that new evidence would turn up. It was clear they were determined to do whatever they could to bring Eli back to his parents.
Many people called the police and left information about Eli’s disappearance due to the large reward offered. Nevertheless, nothing useful came from those calls as most of them were nothing more than fake news. All of this managed to raise false hopes in Peter and Cheryl which made the situation that much more difficult for them.
As a matter of fact, Cheryl was shattered the moment she heard Eli had disappeared. She had nightmares every night that someone was torturing her son. Her doctor prescribed anti anxiety medication as well as sleeping pills to help her cope. Obviously she had difficulty moving forward with her life not knowing what happened to her son.
Peter’s girlfriend Barbara offered he move in with her and her children so that he wouldn’t be alone. He gratefully accepted her offer. Shortly after that, he moved forward with his life. He went back to work and seemed to be coping with the tragedy quite well. However, Barbara felt he was likely in denial as he never mentioned Eli and didn’t want to discuss his disappearance at all.
Winter started four months after Eli disappeared. An enormous amount of rain fell through the end of December. However, the police received a phone call approximately six months after the boy disappeared. The caller Ted said that he found what looked like the remains of a small child in a local forest.
Ted took his two dogs to walk in the forest for the first time in a few months. They were unable to walk there before as the ground was very wet. The forest was quite large and was divided into two parts. One section was maintained, and people liked to go hiking there, while the other was neglected and largely ignored. Therefore, Ted would take his dogs to the less popular part as people would shy away from them.
Anyway, on that day the dogs stood over a spot on the ground and began barking. Ted came closer to where they were standing and saw a black garbage bag sticking out of the ground. The bag was torn, and something was visible inside it. When he bent over to get a better look, he thought he saw a small leg coming out of the bag. Ted remembered the story about a missing child and immediately called the police.
The police promptly sent out a team from the coroner’s office with several police officers and detectives to investigate this claim. The body was collected and sent to the local morgue for an autopsy. The police notified Cheryl that a small body was found, but they made it clear they weren’t sure it was Eli. They were unable to contact Peter as he was out of the country with his girlfriend.
When the results from the autopsy were complete, there was no doubt that the body was Eli’s. Everybody associated with the investigation was deeply saddened when they heard the news. After updating Cheryl and Peter, the police publically announced that Eli’s body had been located. They added they had a few leads to look into, and would continue the investigation until the scum who murdered the little boy was uncovered.
A couple of days later, rumors spread that two pedophile brothers who lived near the forest had been arrested……
Peter did not want to pay more in child support but the court left him no choice. His parents convinced him to be a part of his child’s life. They told him he should not deny his child of having a father. It took them a while but he relented in the end.
When Eli was a baby Peter would visit him twice a week as the court ordered. But when he was a little older, Peter would take him to his house twice a week plus every third weekend. From time to time Peter and Cheryl would argue about money but in general, they got along. Eli would get excited when he knew his father was coming to pick him up. And that proved to his mother she did the right thing by going to the court.
Cheryl moved on with her life and started dating someone. Peter was also in a stable relationship. Peter would take Eli fishing with him as well as on picnics, which were the kind of outdoor activities Eli really enjoyed. Sometimes Peter would bring Eli with him when he went to see his girlfriend Barbara. Cheryl was happy that everything was working out well. Her son had a good relationship with his father, whom he regularly saw.
Barbara had a son about the same age as Eli, plus two others who are older. The kids enjoyed each other’s company and had a great time together. Peter’s girlfriend was previously married to an abusive husband. He abused her and their children for years, and they lived in fear of him. In addition, he didn’t make it easy for her when she wanted to get a divorce. Barbara and the children spent months living in a shelter for abused women. Her husband was not only violent, he also cheated on her all the time.
Barbara thought she’d never be free from him and was sure he would eventually kill her. One day when she was in the shelter with her children she got a message from his sister saying he’d been killed in an accident. Barbara was pregnant with her youngest child at the time and thought about having an abortion while she still could. But her mother talked her out of it and she decided to continue with the pregancy.
Anyway, she didn’t have the courage to go on any dates even after her ex was killed. She felt her life was full with her kids and she didn’t want to take the risk she would meet another abusive man. But her brother who knew Peter from work, told her he was a nice guy who had a great sense of humour. And he thought they would be good for each other.
He convinced her to meet Peter but Barbara wasn’t impressed with him when they finally met each other. She changed her mind and decided to give him a chance when she saw how he treated her children, how warm and gentle he was with them. Anyhow, they had a lot in common plus neither of them wanted any more children. And so it worked out between them.
When Eli was four, Peter called Cheryl one day and told her he had a camping trip planned with his girlfriend out of Toronto in the Peterborough area. He said he would like to take Eli with him. However, this meant Eli would be away from Cheryl for a few days longer than usual. Cheryl agreed to the change in their routine, and Eli was really over the moon when he heard the news.
Peter came to pick up Eli on Friday. Then he picked up Barbara and her youngest son, and they went to a nearby national park. Barbara made it clear to Peter she couldn’t spend all four days with him because she couldn’t get any more days off. As a result, Barbara and her son left on Sunday evening while Peter stayed another day in the park with Eli.
There was a large forest not far from the park and Peter promised Eli that he would take him to see rabbits and unique birds of many different colors, which Eli loved. Of course the boy was looking forward to the new adventure.
Nevertheless, Peter called Cheryl on Monday afternoon while crying hysterically. He told her that Eli disappeared. He said the child saw a rabbit in the forest and started chasing after it. Peter added he lost sight of Eli as he was distracted for a minute. He looked all over the area several times but the boy just vanished. He called the police who arrived immediately and were combing the terrain.
Cheryl froze when she heard what Peter had to say. She thought this can’t be real, I must be having a nightmare. She waited to see if she would wake up and find herself in bed. But sadly, it was real and not just a bad dream. Peter called his girlfriend and started crying the moment she answered the phone. Barbara tried to calm him down and said she was sure the police would find him. She told him she would do whatever she could to help.
Barbara posted as message on Facebook asking for volunteers to help find Eli. The response was enormous……….
Cheryl was very picky with men. Over the years she dated a fair number of men, but none of them were good enough for her. She was very intelligent, with a lot of self confidence, and expressed herself very well. Cheryl worked for many years at one of the largest newspapers in Toronto. She wasn’t an easy person and could not stand it when people made grammatical errors. She would even disqualify men over their grammatical mistakes in English. This is how obsessive she was about the language. She liked to surround herself with knowlegable people. Still, she was funny with a great self deprecating sense of humour. Therefore, she was popular and people liked to be around her.
Anyway, as time went on and Cheryl couldn’t find the one for her, she accepted the fact that she wasn’t getting married anytime soon. Yet, she didn’t give up on her dream to become a mother. Cheryl was close to 38 when she finally understood that she had to hurry up and find a potential father if she wanted her dream to come true. The possibility of having a child from a sperm bank donation was out of the question, as she wanted someone who would share the responsibilities of raising a child with her. And besides, she desired her future child would have a father figure in its life.
She met Peter a few days before she celebrated her 38th birthday. Peter wasn’t the kind of guy she normally dated as he wasn’t handsome and looked like a geek. He was 45, single, and an accountant without any children all of which she considered as positive. In addition, he was smart and had a good sense of humour. He made her laugh and this is what drew Cheryl to him. Therefore, she decided to give him a chance and didn’t hesitate when he asked for her phone number.
They started dating a few days later and moved in together after approximately two months. Cheryl did not know what Peter thought about having children because they didn’t talk about it. Peter has one sister with whom he didn’t really get along. She was married and had a couple of children. Every time they met at their parent’s house, he would complain her children make a lot of noise.
Although having children was at the top of her list of priorities, Cheryl tried not to push him about it. He would promptly change the subject whenever she tried to gently bring up the topic. On the other hand, they would not use any method of birth control. However, since Peter did not make an issue of this, Cheryl assumed he took into consideration that she might get pregnant.
Anyhow, after dating a year and she did not get pregnant, Cheryl began to think that maybe it would not happen. She thought she missed the train. Then she decided to consult a fertility specialist and made an appointment. For the first time, Cheryl also considered the possibility of using sperm from an anonymous donor. And then it happened. Cheryl found out she was pregnant a few days before her appointment with the fertility doctor.
Peter freaked out when she told him the news. He asked her to go for an abortion which she refused to do. She told him she was close to 40 and there was no way she was having an abortion. Peter made it clear that in that case, he doesn’t want anything to do with the child. Obviously, they broke up.
Peter, who had moved in with Cheryl at the beginning of their relationship, left her apartment and returned to his house. She tried to reason with him to change his mind and be part of his child’s life after he was born, but he wouldn’t listen to her. After their son Eli was born, Cheryl tried to support him on her own. Her parents could not help her financially but her mother, who wasn’t so young anymore, would babysit the boy from time to time.
Her mother did her best, but it wasn’t enough. Cheryl went back to work part time so she could spend more time with her son. In addition, she worked from home to earn some extra money, but that was difficult because Eli needed a lot of attention. Thus, when Eli was one year old, she went to court to get child support payments from Peter. Cheryl realized that raising a child was expensive, and she could not afford to raise her son without his father’s financial support. Besides, Peter did very well for himself and she knew he could afford to help.
The court ruled that Peter should pay $3000 a month. Furthermore, Peter was also told that if he didn’t take the child for a few days a week, he would be ordered to pay more. Peter was furious with the court order as he did not want to be part of the child’s life. He stated he did not even want to be a father in the first place. The judge looked at him in disgust and dismissed his claims. He added that the child’s best interests come above all…….
It’s been a long time since I wrote anything about the Coronavirus. It isn’t because it went away, God forbid…… it’s because we have become accustomed to it. About a month ago, we welcomed another variant called the Omicron.
We are told it is 3 times more infectious than the Delta variant. But we don’t know if it causes higher morbidity or less than the Delta. Omicron originated in South Africa and then it spread to countries in Europe. Because of international travel, it is only a matter of time before it spreads like wildfire all over the world.
Until just a few weeks ago, the Ontario government mandated that social distancing regulations be maintained in all public places such as grocery stores, medical clinics, pharmacies, etc. However, they cancelled those regulations two weeks ago. This didn’t make any sense to me as we just found out about Omicron at about the same time.
This variant is spreading around the world extremely quickly and will be a big problem here a lot faster than people think. And then the government will have to reinstate all the regulations they recently revoked. For example, some grocery stores had dividers or had someone standing directing customers where to line up before going to the cashier.
In addition, every store had places marked on the floor where people were supposed to stand when in line. This ensured there was enough space between customers and everyone in the store felt safer (at least, this is how I felt). Suddenly, all those precautions disappeared as the government no longer required them.
Although the mask requirement didn’t change, some people especially seniors, are walking around in the stores either without a mask at all or else not wearing one properly. Not only that, they are often standing so close to you when in line that they are practically standing on your toes.
What aggravates me is that no one says anything to them. The employees don’t say a word to these people and the other shoppers don’t want to get involved. I don’t understand what’s the matter with those people. Have they been living in la-la land or on the moon for the last 2 years? Don’t they know that the virus is still out there and everyone needs to be careful and follow the rules?
Many times when I see people in public places not wearing a mask, I want to ask them to put one on. But I’m reluctant to do so because you don’t know how they’ll react. I’m not brave like my mother. She has a habit of asking people if they’ve been vaccinated before they sit next to her on a park bench or a bus. If they say no, she won’t let them sit down and tells them to find another place to sit 🙂 🙂
Anyway, there are 2 types of people in Toronto. One group wears a mask all the time, even when they are driving a car by themselves 🙂 This is a little ridiculous if you ask me. The other group doesn’t wear a mask even when they are supposed to, such as when they are in public places. For example, some of our neighbours don’t wear masks when they are walking around in the public areas of the building. It’s as though they have some special permission or special immunity that no one else has.
One neighbour in particular asks us every time he sees us why we are wearing masks, “aren’t you vaccinated?” We tell him the same thing each time. Just because we are vaccinated doesn’t mean we can’t get sick and we have to be careful. He looks at us as though we are crazy or from another planet. Maybe we are, but better to be safe than sorry…………………
Nevertheless, Ontario started offering Covid booster shots about a month ago to at risk citizens. Two weeks ago, they started offering booster shots to citizens between the ages of 50 to 70 if their last shot was at least 6 months ago.
As of December 15, the Ontario government will now allow anyone over 18 years old who had their 2nd shot at least 84 days ago to book an appointment to get the booster starting on December 20. Wow, this is quite a change for Canada which usually doesn’t act so quickly.
It shows they are taking it more seriously and are being more proactive now. Last year they waited too long to get a supply of vaccines and didn’t have enough places for the public to get vaccinated. By the time they got organized, the health system was overwhelmed and practically collapsed. This led to thousands of people losing their lives.
However, things started to change rapidly a couple of days ago. I heard that the government once again put in place capacity limits for indoor venues that normally hold 1,000 people or more. They also announced that additional restrictions are being considered and may be put in place if the number of infected people rises significantly within the next few weeks. They stated they are not in favour of lockdowns at this time, but their emphasis is on getting as many people vaccinated with the booster shot as quickly as possible.
Well……….. if anyone thought we would get our lives back anytime soon………..guess again………
A couple of weeks ago, I was watching a teenager being interviewed on TV about his Tourette’s syndrome (TS). He had a very unpleasant experience a few weeks before while taking the bus. He boarded a bus one day which was quite crowded. To avoid any discomfort and misunderstanding due to his situation, he asked the driver if he could use the microphone to make an announcement.
He told the passengers that he had TS, and described the symptoms. He also apologized in advance if he disturbs anyone because he cannot control it. After explaining his condition, he went to the back of the bus to find a seat. Unfortunately, there was a group of teenagers sitting near him. They began to make fun of him the minute he started making odd noises that sounded like hiccups or yelping. They called him names and took videos of him for their Instagram and said ” bark boy, bark…..” The poor boy felt more stressed and anxious because of their behaviour, which made his Tourette’s symptoms even worse.
Even though the bus was quite crowded, nobody got involved and asked the group to stop bullying him. On one hand, it’s frustrating that nobody said anything to them. On the other hand, I can’t judge any of them as sometimes when you publically rebuke someone for their bad behaviour, they can react by becoming violent. And you don’t know how the situation will end. Sadly, most teenagers today have little or no respect for adults.
The boy was humiliated and got off the bus in the middle of the route. He then called his mother to come and pick him up. The next day, he published a very touching post about his experience on Facebook. This caught the public’s attention and he was asked to be interviewed on TV. The boy said he was used to a lack of understanding and lack of acceptance by others. Yet, the events on the bus were too much for him to cope with.
However, during the interview, he mentioned he stops himself from going to public places like a movie theater, etc, as he doesn’t want to disturb anyone. The young man expresses himself very well, and is a very good looking guy. Therefore, I was not surprised to hear that he received several offers to give lectures as well as multiple modeling offers after this incident was publicized…..
Here is some background information regarding TS.
Tourette’s Syndrome is a neurological disorder characterized by sudden repetitive, rapid, and unwanted movements or vocal sounds called tics. The symptoms of TS usually appear in childhood. Some specialists have said they typically appear between 5 to 8 years old, while others claim between 7 to 10 years of age. However, TS specialists generally agree that it can also appear earlier.
The National Institutes of Health says the motor (movements) or vocal (sounds) tics of TS are classified either as simple or complex. They may range from very mild to severe. According to the CDC, genetic studies indicate that TS is inherited as a dominant gene, with approximately a 50% chance of parents passing the gene to their children. Boys with the TS gene are 3 to 4 times more likely than girls to show symptoms of TS.
There is a great deal of material on this subject available online. The more I read about it, I understood that while a person with Tourette’s is under stress, his symptoms become worse and are exhibited more often. And this puts him in an impossible situation. Can you imagine what children suffering from TS must go through at school or in public places?!
Anyway, many people believe that those with Tourette’s are always cursing or using inappropriate language (coprolalia), or saying all kinds of unexpected things, which is not true. The reality is that most individuals suffering from TS don’t behave this way. In fact, most only have mild cases of the disorder and it may even go undetected. Furthermore, they have normal intelligence and normal life expectancy.
TS symptoms that you see on TV shows and in movies are usually exaggerated. This is the reason people think that TS sufferers frequently curse. Unfortunately, our society is impatient with people who are different. We have a tendency to judge someone without really knowing them. People also like to be around people who are like them. They can be very cold or sometimes cruel towards those who are different from them or those they do not understand or cannot relate to.
In general, people stare at anyone who is different mainly out of curiousity. Tourette’s is a condition with visible symptoms that can make strangers uncomfortable, scared, or react inapproptiately. Coping with the negative reactions of others can be very distressing for the recipients and aggravate their symptoms. As a result, they are reluctant to be in public places in order to avoid those very difficult situations.
There are so many different people out there who are alienated from society on a daily basis, just because they are different. We should learn to be less judgemental of them and help make their lives easier. Parents with small children should educate them to be sensitive to others, especially those that have special needs as everything begins at home. The lessons we learn at home follow us wherever we go…………….
Lucy loved working on the farm. She found the peace and quiet she looked forward to for a long time. Working with horses was an excellent therapy for her. The fears and anxieties she suffered from for years significantly diminshed. Furthermore, Lucy was offered accomodation at the farm in addition to her salary. As a bonus, her employer Bruce was a great person and was very considerate.
Although he was approximately ten years older than her, there was an amazing chemistry between the two of them. Bruce was divorced for a few years. He had three children who lived not far from his farm with his ex-wife. The children would come to visit him pretty often and the three of them would ride the horses together.
Anyway, Lucy loved taking care of the horses as she had no friends and the horses served as a refuge from her loneliness. She would spend a lot of time with them even after her work hours which Bruce appreciated.
Lucy had never talked with anyone about her background except her psychologists. Mind you, she couldn’t be completely open even with them, as she was afraid to let the genie out of the bottle. She couldn’t cope with the questions and people’s curiousity about what her parents went through during the war. The truth is she didn’t know much, and she was reluctant to talk about what it was like growing up in the shadow of the Holocaust.
One day Bruce invited Lucy to his house to have dinner with him. This was his way of telling her that he liked her. Before the meal he gave her a tour of his house. The house was cozy and inviting, however Lucy froze when they entered the living room. Her eyes were drawn to the electric memorial candle sitting on the table in the corner of the room. Next to it there was a picture of some adults and children.
The electric candle was exactly like the one her parents had in their living room, but without the pictures. When Lucy asked who they were, Bruce said that the adults were his grandparents and his aunts and uncles. The children were his siblings and all of them perished in the Holocaust. Lucy broke down in tears like never before. Bruce, who was shocked by her reaction, didn’t know what to do. She sobbed for hours and he couldn’t calm her down. Everything she was trying to suppress for so long just uncontrollably burst out.
Lucy felt embarrassed when she finally pulled herself together. There was silence in the room for a few moments, and then Lucy told Bruce about her parents. She also said she had experienced nightmares for years as though she was in the concentration camps. She and her brother were forbidden to talk about the Holocaust or to ask any questions about it in their parent’s house.
In addition, their parents never agreed to show them the pictures they managed to save of their siblings. Compared to Lucy’s parents, Bruce’s parents were very open about what happened to them during the war. Bruce told Lucy that his siblings and part of his extended family were exterminated at the beginning of the war. His parents succeeded to escape on the way to the concentration camp against all odds. They managed to leave Europe and come to Australia as refugees. Bruce’s father had a sister who lived there and she helped them establish a new life.
His parents started a new family and had three more children. They never stopped talking about the loss of their loved ones. As well, they did not hesitate to share what they went through with their children and later on with their grandchildren, which helped them cope with their bereavement.
Bruce’s parents mentioned at every opportunity the fact that it was very important to them the Holocaust should never be forgotten. They even made their children promise they would never forget the genocide of the Jewish people and would continue to teach future generations about it. This is how you build a collective memory.
After Bruce and Lucy unburdoned themselves, they were too exhausted to eat anything. Thus Bruce invited Lucy for dinner in a restaurant the next day. They became a couple approximately a month later, and shortly after that Lucy moved in with Bruce. Over time, he helped her get over her fears and to cope with them. Moreover, he taught her to trust others. Within a very short period of time she had the opportunity to meet Bruce’s entire family.
Lucy was impressed with them as they were very close to each other thanks to their parents. Furthermore, they immediately adopted her and treated her as though she was always part of their family. Lucy and Bruce got married two years after they met and agreed not to have any children.
Nevertheless, Adam continued taking care of his mother until she passed away. Basically, he had no social life at all. Adam took her death extrememly hard even though she was 90 years old and had been quite ill for some time.
He was lonely and lost without her and would frequently cry when he mentioned her. He always spoke of her in glowing terms. Everyone who wasn’t familiar with him would think he was talking about his wife or at least the love of his life. It was so sad to see this grown man so devastated by his mother’s death.
I know some people who went out of their way to help Adam however they could. Yet, unfortunately, they couldn’t break through the wall he had surrounding him. Adam wanted to feel sorry for himself and did not want to be helped. Therefore, they all gave up and moved on…………
Anna and Aaron took their daughter’s departure very hard as their children were the only family they had. They lived for their children who meant everything to them. They were afraid that they would lose Lucy for good. For months they tried to convince her not to leave or at least to find a closer university, which she rejected outright. Lucy wanted to break free from them and this is what she did.
At the beginning she would visit her parents during the holidays and university breaks. But over time she slowly stopped coming home. When her parents asked for the reason, she would find some excuse why she couldn’t come.
Lucy had an emotional problem that she didn’t want to share with her parents or with her brother as well. She was told more than once by her psychologists that what she was going through was as a result of the traumatic experiences she endured at home during her childhood. Lucy couldn’t find herself after she left home. She suffered from anxiety and couldn’t concentrate on her studies.
Six months later she dropped out of university. She worked as a waitress until she decided what to do with her life. Lucy met some nice guys but never persisted with any relationships for more than two months. She was like her parents and never trusted anybody. As she grew older she decided that under no circumstances would she bring children into this world.
However, Adam also had some emotional issues. Yet he never even considered leaving his parents. He was sensitive to them and their needs as well. After he graduated high school he attended a nearby university. Like his sister he dated quite a lot, but he did not have any serious relationships. Adam, unlike his sister, looked for a woman who was similer to his mother. And it seems like any women he dated needed his mother’s approval.
Adam was a very smart guy and after finishing university, he went to work on Wall St and earned a good living. He bought a house not too far from his parents. This way he could visit them every day. He would eat supper with them, and also spend time with them on weekends.
Adam’s father passed away when he was approximately 26 years old. It was a very big loss for Anna, and was much more than just losing a husband. They shared a profoundly traumatic experience together, something that only Holocaust survivors would understand even without talking.
Adam spent more and more time with Anna after Aaron died. They would go to the theater, attend events and also travel around the world together. They would go out for coffee or to eat and would talk for hours like best friends. Still Anna never shared the horrible experiences she had in the concentration camps with him.
Anna barely had any friends and her son filled the void for her. When people tried to get close to her, she would push them away. She used to tell her son she would not live forever, and therefore he had to find the right woman and get married. On the other hand, when her son started to get close to someone, she would criticize them and find reasons why the woman wasn’t good enough for him. She literally would not let go of him. She was obsessed with Adam and wanted to control his life so that he would always be available for her.
Over the years, Adam developed a personality similar to that of his mother. He became extremely suspicious of others, and didn’t trust anyone who tried to get close to him. He always assumed that people had an alterior motive when they were friendly with him.
When Anna grew older, she needed someone to be with her 24/7. And every time Adam brought her a caregiver, she would say they were unreliable and have Adam dismiss them. Adam had no choice but to take on the caregiver role himself. Consequently, he had to resign his job. He would cook for his mother, clean her house, and even bathe her when she could no longer do it herself. He put his life on hold and took care of all her needs.
In the meantime, Lucy saved enough money and decided to take a trip around the world. For years she couldn’t bring herself to visit her parents. Even when her father died she couldn’t go to his funeral as she was struggling with a severe case of anxiety. She would occasionally call and have a short conversation with her mother. But she never gave her any details about her life or what she was going through.
Lucy travelled by herself as she didn’t have any friends. She was running low on money by the time she arrived in Australia. So she looked for a job on a ranch to help pay for the rest of her trip. It wasn’t easy for her to find work on a ranch as she didn’t have experience working with animals. In addition, she had to work under the table. After a while she saw an advertisement about a horse farm that was looking for inexperienced farm hands. Lucy went to the farm to try her luck and was hired on the spot.
The second generation of Holocaust survivors were born into a complicated reality. They grew up in the shadow of their parents who were mentally struggling with loss and bereavement. Their parents also were burdened with feelings of guilt as their loved ones did not survive and they did. In addition, the second generation of Holocaust survivors lived alongside parents that experienced existential horror for years. Unfortunately this is a trauma that most of them will have to carry for the rest of their lives.
Adam and Lucy are second generation Holocaust survivors. They were named after relatives of their parents who perished. Their parents Anna and Aaron were imprisoned in several concentration camps. Both of them were married to others before the war and had children. But the Nazis exterminated their entire families and they were the only survivors.
Aaron and Anna lived in the same country in Eastern Europe before the war and for a few years afterwards. Actually, they even grew up in the same neighbourhood and went to the same school. But they did not know each other then, probably because Aaron was much older than Anna. Fate brought them together after the liberation while they were looking for their families.
They decided to get married a short time after they met since they were both lonely. Later on they came to the States as refugees, after they lost hope of finding their loved ones from among the survivors of the war. Sadly they learned that their entire immediate families were deported to Auschwitz where they were gassed to death.
Adam and Lucy are twins. They were born a couple of years after their parents arrived in the United States. Their parents loved both of them very much but Adam was the apple of his parent’s eyes. Since their children from previous marriages were executed by the Nazis, Anna and Aaron over protected their mutual children. The twins were raised with much love and showered with a lot of attention.
When they were little they enjoyed being the center of their parent’s lives. But as they became teenagers, the excess attention they received was a bit oppressive, especially for Lucy. She wanted to go out with her friends and enjoy life. She did not like the restrictions her parents placed on her such as coming home early from a party while all her friends were still out celebrating.
Anna and Aaron forbade their children from smoking and consuming alcohol which greatly angered Lucy. They also didn’t let their children out of their sight. Lucy rebelled against her parents and would do the opposite whenever they forbade her from doing something. Adam however, was more disciplined and did exactly what was expected of him. Furthermore, he was very attached to his parents especially to his mother.
Although the twins were surrounded by love, the lingering effects of the Holocaust overshadowed all aspects of their lives. As a result, they did not have happy childhoods as their friends did. They knew a little about what their parents went through in the concentration camps. However, most of it was obscured as their parents were unable to openly discuss their experiences.
Anna had a shoebox where she kept pictures of her loved ones who were murdered during the war. She would look at the pictures from time to time and when she did she was upset all day. Anna refused to share her feelings with her children and kept saying her past had nothing to do with them.
Aaron also declined to answer any questions about his past. He always looked as though he was carrying a burden on his shoulders. He would often scream in the middle of the night while he was sleeping. He wouldn’t remember anything when he woke up in the morning but would be exhausted the rest of the day. It didn’t matter how much his children tried to persuade him to talk about his losses, he insisted he wouldn’t delve into it.
Over the years, the twins absorbed the horrible feelings their parents went through, even though nothing was explicitly said. They would see their parents hiding some food in their pockets and ignored it as they did not want to embarrass them. Many times they would find food underneath their beds as well.
Anna and Aaron had a habit of stockpiling food in quantity. When their kids asked why they needed all the food, they would say just in case there was a shortage. Like most of the generation of Holocaust survivors, the difficult situation at Adam and Lucy’s home shaped their lives. They went to psychologists for years and probably still do.
After the twins graduated from high school, Lucy decided to attend university at a location as far away from her parents as possible. Although she felt guilty that she was abandoning them particularly after what they did for her and her brother. Anyway, Lucy believed it was an absolute necessity in order to keep her sanity.
How many times have you parked your car and forgotten where it was? If I had to guess, I would probably say more than once! This frequently occurs especially when you go shopping and park your car in a big parking lot. Well, that happened to me and my spouse many times.
Yes, most of the cars if not all of them, have a remote to help you locate your car. All you need to do is press the button and here it is, the horn starts beeping and your car says “here I am…..just come and get me.” But this is for normal people not for us. We have the remote, but it doesn’t work because the battery should have been replaced for a few years now….
Why am I writing about this? Because a couple of days ago it happened to us again and it reminded me of someone I worked with a little over a decade ago. Mano was a Holocaust survivor and a very interesting person. Since I did not have a car at the time and he lived not too far from me, he would give me a ride pretty often.
Anyway, the building where our office was located had several parking lots nearby and Mano never remembered where he parked his car. Luckily he had a remote and that was how he would find his vehicle. But sometimes he did not remember on what floor he parked it and we would go from floor to floor until we found the vehicle.
One winter day I finished work at 5 p.m and it was already dark outside. Mano offered me a ride home which I gladly accepted. Like always, Mano couldn’t find his car and he used the remote to help locate it. While the horn started beeping he approached the car and tried to open the door for me (yeah, yeah, he was one the last gentlemen). But the door wouldn’t open. Mano pressed the button a few more times and a horn from another car started beeping (I was laughing the entire time) 🙂 🙂 🙂
Apparently, he activated the alarm on a car that looked exactly like his but belonged to somebody else……… I have no idea how something like that can happen but it did, believe me I was there.
The other car belonged to him. He opened the door for me and I got in and sat down. The second I sat down I felt uncomfortable as if I was sitting on something. When Mano got in the car, he was looking for his glasses and could not drive without them.
I finally decided to put my hand underneath my behind and there they were. When I took them out I saw they were twisted because I sat on them. Mano kept looking for his glasses and did not notice I pulled them out from under me……. I was embarrased and did not know what to do as I thought I broke them.
Well……. after a few seconds I composed myself and said here are your glasses, I just found them. He thanked me and straightened out the frame. When he put them on I realized that one of the lenses was missing and he didn’t even notice. I was laughing hysterically without making any noise while still looking for the missing lens under my behind……. 🙂
There were tears running down my cheeks and fortunately the man did not notice because he was too busy talking. I could not find the lens and Mano started driving without saying anything. Mano was talking along the way and my head was turned to the right so he wouldn’t see me laughing. The driver in the car next to me was looking at me as though I was a lunatic. I still can’t figure out how Mano could drive with one lens missing, as he had a very high correction.
Anyhow, I haven’t seen Mano for more than a decade and I don’t even know if he is still alive. I hope he is but I somehow doubt that he is still driving.
However, a friend of mine recently went to an appointment in downtown Toronto and parked his car in a multi level parking garage. Before he left his car, he looked for the sign on the wall which showed he was parked on the north side of the building. When he returned to look for his car, he couldn’t find it. The poor guy looked for his car for half an hour until he gave up. He was sure the car was stolen and decided to call the police.
While waiting for them to arrive he decided to walk to the other side of the building. He saw one of his neighbours when he arrived there. The neighbour wasn’t surprised to see him and told him “I knew you were in the area as I just saw your car.” Apparently, the guy recognized my friend’s car because there is a unique sticker of his favorite football team on the bumper. My friend immediately called the police and cancelled his request for help………
When he told me the story, my answer was “look at the bright side, at least you got some exercise looking for your car.”………………….
It took a while but Joey finally understood that he was in real trouble. He knew he couldn’t look after himself anymore. Therefore, he called Victoria and asked for her help, which was something he hadn’t done before. He told his niece that the homeless women have been threatening him for some time now. Victoria asked him to pack some toiletries and clothes and said she was coming to pick him up in 20 minutes.
In addition to all his other difficulties, Joey had significant memory problems, even though he was the youngest in his family. He could not live by himself any longer and was on his way to LA the next day to live with his sister Sarah, until a solution would be found for him.
Sarah was in shock when she saw her brother at the airport. She hadn’t seen him for a long time, and he suddenly looked like an old man. He was bent over and shuffled his feet when he walked. Joey was wearing old worn out clothes, and hadn’t cut his hair for over 6 months. When he came closer to her, she noticed his clothes smelled and he hadn’t taken a shower lately either.
Joey looked sad as though he did not want to be there. The moment Sarah saw him, she decided she would do whatever she could to help him go back to Green Bay as soon as possible. Sarah was older than Joey and didn’t want to take care of him. She had her routine and was unwilling to let anything change it.
Anyway, along with some clothes, Joey brought packages of chocolate chip cookies and chocolate bars. He refused to eat almost everything Sarah cooked for him the first few weeks of his visit. Instead, he preferred eating his cookies and chocolate bars plus several bananas every day. Joey was diabetic and he certainly should not eat this stuff. He also had high blood pressure and was taking medication for both conditions. But unfortunately, he forgot to bring his medication with him when he came to Los Angeles.
In the meantime, Victoria sold Joey’s house in Green Bay at a lower price than she wanted, because it was in such poor condition. But before she sold it, she and her sister went over to the house to pack up Joey’s stuff. The poor women did not know how many items he accumulated over the years. The man didn’t throw out anything. In addition, they found all kinds of new purchases still in their original packaging. Some items were bought two or three times without him realizing it.
The new owner knocked down the house and had plans to build a new one in it’s place. One day the homeless ladies went to Joey’s home and saw the house had been knocked down and all they saw was a vacant lot. But hey, let’s not deceive ourselves, they will not rush to give up on the goose that lays the golden eggs.
In fact they called Victoria several times looking for Joey. Apparently, he was renting one of the rooms in his house to the two of them. The arrangement between him and those women was ostensibly as follows. The government would send a cheque to Joey every month to pay for room and board for the homeless staying at his house. But the women would go to the bank with him, he would cash the cheque and give them the money. This meant that when they stayed in his house he paid all the expenses.
When Victoria found out about this arrangement she immediately called the homeless women’s welfare case worker. She informed her that they were no longer living at Joey’s house. As a result, the gravy train stopped running……….
Neverthless, Joey never liked the idea of living with his sister. He didn’t feel comfortable there and wanted to go home, or at least to the neighbourhood he knew all his life. But he could not go back to the area he lived before, as those women are searching for him like wild beasts hunting their prey.
After a couple of months Victoria found a nice apartment for him on the other side of Green Bay. She had to buy him some new furniture because the furniture he had in the old house all went into the garbage. Two weeks ago, Joey moved into his new apartment. Sarah escorted him to Green Bay and seemed relieved to hand over all of the responsibility for looking after him to her niece.
I don’t understand the woman, for years she begged him to come to stay with her in LA. But the minute she saw him at the airport, she decided then and there she wanted to send him back to Green Bay right away. Let’s face it, although she is still in good shape, she isn’t young anymore. On the other hand, Sarah is the only person who has available space in her house plus the financial means to help him. Besides, she is the only sibling he has left.
The man is independent. It isn’t as though God forbid she needed to change his diaper or bathe him. Generally speaking, he can look after himself. Yes, he can use some assistance. But she could hire someone to take him to explore the area or go shopping and she could continue with her routine. This way he could be around family and still have some independence. But instead he went back to Green Bay to live by himself 😦 😦 😦
However, Joey went back to the city he loved and knew so well. He liked the new apartment yet he is still lonely. One big difference at present is that he is no longer mobile. Once Victoria found out he had memory problem she took his car away from him.
Some people say “change your surroundings, change your luck.” I hope that getting a fresh start in a new apartment will lead to a happier and better life for Joey. And God willing, he’ll make some new friends too. This would be a bonus………..
With Experience Comes Wisdom 